More Episode Summaries of Netflix's "Charlie's Colorforms City"

Season 2, Episode 1: Casey and Franklin discover crates of stolen goods in the back of Charlie's home. He bribes them some of it to keep them silent, then makes plans to move the merchandise to a safer spot.

Season 2, Episode 2: Charlie's sister and mother fly in to visit him from Vancouver, but he doesn't want to see them. He stays away and doesn't answer his phone until they give up and fly back home.

Season 2, Episode 3: Too many gambling debts forces a mob enforcer to pay Charlie a visit. After breaking his kneecaps, wrists, hip, and shoulder blades, the goon leads in a song about honoring promises.

Season 2, Episode 4: Dana and Lily discover that Charlie has been playing them both as girlfriends. Neither is willing to admit that they are the source of HPV.

Season 2, Episode 5: Charlie steals from an old folks home and justifies it by saying it was a memory care facility and no one there realizes anything's missing anyway.

UAG

For more on David Thewlis, click here.

Another Preview of Info Wars Conspiracies In The Making

The crack writing crackpots of "Info Wars" are already working on next week's set of Alex Jones fuckbottle rants. (What's a fuckbottle? I'll keep it.) Here now are a few conspiracies you can look forward to supporting and spreading, if you are a dumb, right wing bigot shithead asshole cocksucker:

• Bales of hay left in farm fields contain homing beacon trackers for North Korean paratroopers once they invade in August

• Pesto is actually gay leprechaun semen. Believe me- I know.

• The #MeToo movement is a group of angry Etsy sellers out to destroy all males and turn this country into a fascist knitocracy 

• The Big and Tall Mens Store staffs attractive, nice smelling young men with rippling muscles on purpose so that when they measure your inseam, you cum like a shark

• The board game Connect Four is an unfair, manipulative bullshit of a fucking game and WE DON'T WANT TO PLAY THAT ANYMORE

Smecial Dreams Mini-Entry: Two Men, Two Different Dreams

“He who robs us of our dreams robs us of our life.” 

― Virginia Woolf, Orlando

This entry was brought to you by the NBA Classic Channel: All retired basketball. All the time.

Blackberry VI

A mere 37 days after the EADJ Gallery had acquired a fifth invaluable addition to "The Blackberry Face," they witness a holiday miracle in a much sought-after sixth piece to their already impressive collection: "Doug."


"Doug" was donated by an anonymous private collector who discovered him in a West Elm in Paramus, New Jersey. And unlike four of the previous pieces, "Maggie," "Frank," "Tony," and "Edvard," "Doug" is captured off of any mass transit, instead relaxing on a sofa at the front of the store while his wife picks out wall art or vases or some shit.


With a gala opening and ceremony, the EADJ Gallery will reveal its first ever completed hexaptych on January 4 in the Main Gallery and will be free to the public. The Young Artists Juried Show has accordingly been moved to the East Gallery since it wasn't very good to begin with.


Photography and video recording of any kind will be prohibited. Armed guards will be stationed throughout the show. No food or drink is allowed.

:C

Get Well Soon, Dammit

Found on the trash by the curb: an oversized 'get well' card that says "nobody misses you more than the 16 reports on your computer that won't get completed by themselves, hint hint."

Let's Borrow the EADJ Mail Sack's Car and Return It Without Filling the Tank Back Up!

(submitted by Jessica Holcomb, a great shot of Curlz MT, a bit that EADJ no longer does)