Finally, A Worthy Addition To the Blackberry Face Collection

It's been over a year now since the last addition has been made to The Blackberry Face exhibit, and even though multiple potential candidates have been presented, none has earned a place in this renowned art project. Until today.

Eat A Dick Joel, in conjunction with the Greta Meert Foundation and the Brussels Foire des Antiquaires are pleased to unleash a ninth worthy addition to the vaunted Blackberry Face collection.

Here now for the first time is "Margaret:"

Yes, "Margaret" is holding a mobile device and has the requisite "sturgeon mouth" that the previous eight entries display, but what sets "Margaret" apart from her predecessors is her fanciful steampunk top hat with a peacock feather sticking out of the brim. Unexpected and absolutely exquisite.

Shortly after the photo was taken on the 23rd Street R subway line, some gallery experts reviewed the latest submission and unanimously approved it. "Margaret" joins the eight other Blackberry Faces to create a stunning 9-piece polyptych.

Click to enlarge

Curators have been quick to point out that "Margaret" has unusual dimensions because the peacock feather was required in the shot as well as the mobile device. She now takes up 2 of the spaces that the others occupy.

This new exhibit will be on display at the Museet for samtidskunst (Norwegian Museum of Contemporary Art) in Oslo starting March 16. Tickets will be 20 kr for general audience and 10 kr for members. Please, no selfie sticks or children's "roller" shoes.

:C

Andrew Gall's Fireplace Was Scared

Andrew Gall's Fireplace was scared.

So was Train Intercom.

Repair Van Hatch thought they were cowards.

Upside Down Bike Lane Graphic was happy for once.

Back of New Minivan was pretty psyched.

Delivery Door and Railing muttered his displeasure.

Pink Dog Sweater was absolutely flabbergasted.

Side of Macbook Pro was in shock.

Planter Corner couldn't believe what he was seeing.

Outlet Cover barfed.

And it all happened while Stack of Apple Boxes just watched in awe.

Yet Another Candidate Falls Short

Earlier today, another submission was brought to our attention in the hope that it could be included in the vaunted "Blackberry Exhibit." Unfortunately, it is just another failed attempt to piggyback on the artistic glory of a modern masterpiece.

Here's a breakdown of the submission– who we've dubbed "Trevor"– and why it ultimately did not qualify:

1) Trevor is indeed on a handheld device, thus satisfying the first requirement.

2) Upon closer inspection, however, it does appear that Trevor's facial expression is not the standard "sturgeon face" but instead small pursed "duck lips."

3) Although thematically aligned with the subject matter and despite its obvious addition to demographic diversity, Trevor is the latest in a long string of rejections. The celebrated octych remains.

"The Blackberry Face: A Season Of Delights" will be on display soon at the main pavilion in Norway's Lillehammer Art Museum starting July 15. Admission for members is 25 krone, general public 60 krone. Children under 10 are not permitted to come within 30 meters of the art piece as it is priceless. Armed guards will tranquilize any violators on sight.

:C

Dollar Bill Slot Was Upset.

 

Dollar Bill Slot was upset.

 

Bathroom Sink was surprised to hear it.

And so was Bathroom Sink's brother, Kevin.

 

Parking Lot Light was pretty angry, too.

 

IKEA Wall and White Van were an angry blue pig together.

 

Messenger Bag said nothing and kept eating.

 

Stairway Railing also shut his mouth.

 

Smoke and Carbon Monoxide Alarm, however, was very curious what everyone was so upset about.

 

Saturn Car didn't want to talk about it.

 

Train Bathroom Latch was told to shut up about it.

 

And even though Library Clock kept talking, everyone thought he was just crazy.

 

Children's Hanger tried to look on the bright side of things.

 

While Coat Sleeve insisted there was no bright side.

 

Child Seat Buckle laughed it off.

 

Emergency Light did the sturgeon face.

 

Expensive Dessert stared into space.

 

And meanwhile, Furniture Store Spool wondered about his bloody stools.

 

Wine Rack waited for everyone to shut up.

 

Ash Tray took a smoke break and waited, as well.

 

Suitcase sat there looking like an idiot.

 

(submitted by Tom Weingard)

While Backpack laughed and sat with her legs open like a slut.

Blackberry Face VII

Sometimes an art collection outgrows a gallery and must be moved to a facility that can handle its space requirements. The recent acquisition of "Debargo," the seventh addition to the renowned "The Blackberry Face" series has made it necessary to find a new gallery to house the master works.

"Debargo" is a beautiful new piece, captured in Midtown New York and donated to the EADJ Gallery by James and Hillary Fallopian of the Fallopian Foundation. This seventh piece has made it necessary to find a new home for the collection when the curator found that the East Gallery could barely display the previous six pieces without causing a fire hazard.

"Debargo" depicts a middle aged man of unknown ethnic origin enjoying some "choons" on his phone or mp3 player. The rapturous expression on his face suggest freedom and escape to counteract the emotional ballast that is his sturgeon mouth.

Before this seventh piece, the collection resembled the compartmentalized photos of Dawoud Bey's Candida and Her Mother, Celia, II displayed at The Art Institute of Chicago. So "Debargo" has created new artistic interpretations of the overall collection as well as new challenges to its storage and display.

Click to enlarge:

The resulting new septaptych is breathtaking in its scope and scale. Gone is the stability and security of an even number as the juxtaposition of man and handheld machine is thrown into beautiful, asymmetric chaos.

Top row, from left: "Maggie," "Frank," "Edvard," "Debargo"
Bottom row, from left: "Tony," "Sam," "Doug"

The Blackberry Collection will be displayed in the Founder's and Parlor Gallery at the Woodmere Art Museum in Philadelphia, starting June 9. Admission will be $10 adults; $7 seniors; FREE for members, children, and students with current ID. No flash photography or pets.

:C

Blackberry Face IV V

Starting in the first week of December, EADJ's exhibit "The Blackberry Face" will be augmented with a monumental new piece, recently acquired by the EADJ Museum Society as a permanent addition to the collection.


"Edvard" is a groundbreaking new masterwork that has rocked the art world to its foundation- it stays true to the spirit of its predecessors while at the same time challenging the very definition of what a "Blackberry Face" can be.


Not only is "Edvard" the first recording of a "Blackberry Face" outside of the New Jersey Transit Line, it is the very first instance of someone making a "Blackberry Face" while reading a Kindle. The repercussions of this new "game-changing" discovery have yet to be realized by the art press and the world in general.


"Edvard" joins "Maggie," "Frank," and "Tony," thereby converting the admired triptych into the rarer tetraptych.

The Blackberry Face Collection has been made possible by our chief patron, the Rembrandt Society. With special thanks to Canon Cameras, Blue Moon Beer and the Chubb Corporation. Additional finance has been supplied by the Bequest of Mrs Riemsdijk-Borsje, who the museum manager went to school with.

:C

***UPDATE***

Due to a GLARING oversight on EADJ's part, we mistakenly reported that "Edvard" was the fourth new "Blackberry Face," when in fact there already WAS a fourth, "Sam," which was added to the collection in May of this year. Readers must be assured this was not racially motivated.




This now means that "Edvard" is no longer the first "Blackberry Face" featured out of the NJ Transit train, and yet it remains the first one to feature a Kindle. "Edvard" now upgrades this rare tetraptych to an even rarer pentaptych.

Happy Halloween From EADJ!

"It's Halloween, everyone!" said Standpipe.


Boom Box On TV was SO PSYCHED!


Bike Lanes were glad.


And Frying Pan was so excited!


Building hated Halloween, so he just ignored it.


High Chair wasn't really into it, either. But whatever.


Neither Door Attachment nor Porch Board were ready for it this year.


Smokestack and Bridge got into the Halloween spirit and helped decorate. They put up...


...a Jack-O-Lantern and...


...two skeletons.


Corner was mildly encouraged by the turnout.


And the costume contest began:


Speaker came as a generic ghost.


Surround Sound Box dressed like a Minion from "Despicable Me."


Garbage Truck came as a catfish.


Rice Cooker had on a great gorilla costume.


Both Recycling Bins and Egg Carton showed up as Ninja Turtles.


18 Wheeler dressed as Frylock from "Aqua Teen Hunger Force."


Dashboard came as a convincing angry robot.


Ionic Breeze dressed like Ghost Face from the "Scream" movies.


Designer Chair dressed up as Mr. Mouth, but he kept getting "H.R. Pufnstuf."


60 Year Old Birthday Cake dressed as Cookie Monster.


Train Bathroom Door showed up as an angry Italian giving the finger, but nobody got it.


Escalator Partition dressed as John Goodman.


Dunkin Donuts Rug forgot to show up in costume and felt like an asshole.


Dog Dish showed up in a bad Skeletor costume.


But Stained Glass Window won the prize for their "Grinning Kermit" costume.


Purse went out for a smoke.


Bank Waiting Area was glad to meet so many new people.


Subway Tool Storage Box stood against the wall and kept to himself.


Oven said they didn't get enough candy.


But Water Cooler didn't get any candy.


And as always, Fountain drank too much and got sloppy.


Train Car Lock took too much ecstasy and had to lie down.


iPhone Case wondered who was going to pay for all of this.


Cardboard Box and Broken Hinge both got lost and missed the party entirely.


Cheap Ikea Chair just smiled and enjoyed another successful party.


Sun Roof Attachment was still scared and refused to come down.


Large Capacity Tub said, "Yay! Let's do this again next year!"

Editor's Note: Thanks to Andrew Gall and Emily Kane for their contributions to this.