EADJ Programming Note

Click to play video:

Thanks to Fiverr vendor malevoicetalent for the sick DJ drop!

Yeah, there is no "Kristine in the Morning". I just added that because it sounded good.

The ProofrEADJer: End O' June Edition

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of October 9

Twitter is the tool of tools. The mouthpiece of morons. The megaphone of ultra-douches. But even the tooliest douches refuse to use the following hashtags. So go ahead and emblazon your dumb tweets with them yourself, you bottom-feeder:

#gazellepussy

#abstinencefetish

#MarioKartfairness

#PuncturedLungIdol

#knittedcrackpipecozy

#TedCruzinalobsterbib

#KochBrotherscrowdfunding

#PantsOnTheGrounddubstepremix

#HarveyWeinsteinteambuildingexercise

The Lord Is My Pathmark, I Shall Not Reshelve

Blackberry Faces VIII and IX

The EADJ Gallery is pleased to announce not one, but two new acquisitions to the critically acclaimed "Blackberry Face" series.

These two significant pieces are essentially one photo captured on a New York 7 Train. Such a rare and beautiful occurrence is made even more incredible by the fact that it manages to document two different generations of Blackberry faces.

"Trevor and Josie" is a magnificent piece that captures the dichotomy of two generations, two sexes, and two pieces of technology. Trevor seems to grumpily collapse into his iPad browsing whilst Josie is upright but frowny-faced about her texting. Both cross their legs, but your eye is inevitably drawn towards Josie's crotch.

"Trevor and Josie" fill the eighth slot of this breathtaking octaptych, fulfilling the promise made by the Woodmere Art Museum curator Daphne Steins that the Blackberry Collection will be "the foremost exhibit in any metropolitan gallery in any city in Duluth, Minnesota."

The new exhibit will open on November 5. Gallery members and their guests will receive a 10% discount during regular viewing hours. Flash photography and videotaping will not be permitted. And please, smoking is not permitted inside the portico entrance.

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

"A lion with dreads holding a gun behind a stack of gold bars is stupid. So let's have two of them."


Hey, since Gucci Mane just lazily slaps dumb rhymes about bitches and cars on beats, let's lazily slap his head, tats, and chains on top of Mark Wahlberg's body in the movie poster for "Contraband" . Who cares if it makes Gucci Mane look like he's got crippling back problems?


"Okay, so your hip-hop name is Smoke, right? Well, Smoke is also the name of a professional-grade online editing and finishing system for broadcast by Autodesk. There's also a motion graphics and compositing software by Adobe called After Effects, and it would be really clever if you named your album 'After Effect.' No, trust me, it's cool."


Wow. Just wow.


If you're going to do a riff on the flag of California, why would you replace the bear with Oscar the Grouch? And why does he have shades on? Has he been smoking up, too? Too many questions, Game.


(I posted a comment here, then erased it, then posted another, then erased that one, realizing there's no comment that could make this album cover any more enjoyable)

EADJ Pun Police: Salem Witch Trial Edition

The Court of Oyer has come to order, and the Holy books of Scripture are stacked before me, so we may begin the questioning, Judge Danforth. As an expert in occult phenomena, it is my solemn duty to divine the exact nature of the strange occurrences here in Salem. I understand Reverend Pariss' daughter Betty has suffered a mysterious malady. Is that correct?


"Love At First Site?" Is that some sort of blasphemous mockery of the word "sight" in order to make unholy reference to the vacant commercial space? What black horror!


Foul punsmanship! Such flagrant unfunny wordplay is of the Devil, no matter the potter's intent!


"Flour To The People?!" And why would that pertain only to Goody Anne's pretzels, and not bread, or doughnuts, or biscuits?! Verily groan-worthy. Hail the magistrate! To the pillory with these foul incantations!


"Let's Taco 'Bout It." Okay, that one is pretty funny.


Snot 'tis not a word to be played with, witch! You blaspheme before this court and before the eyes of God! Burn this one at the stake! Confess thy sins, servant of the Beast!


(It is here that Chief Magistrate Thomas Newton fainted and the Courtroom was overcome by chaos.)

Oh, Terrin and Christine!

Spotted at the customer service counter in a Maryland supermarket: a sheet of paper.




Hey, you two- if you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean! Crazy kids.

Just When You Thought We Were Through With "Jeremy's Family Reunion."

Here's that clip of the dance party without any music:



And here we've added some music so that it's not so ridiculous:

What Dave Levy Lev'd Behind, Part 3

Joanne reads a very special missive.

Manut Bol, Eat a Dick Jol

Joel was tearfully given a momento from the family of his former mentor Tianna: the angora rabbit's water bottle. Filled with the $200-a-bottle Bling gourmet bottled water, it was the last possession not auctioned off by Christie's this morning. Joel reportedly stayed dry-eyed until he saw that the nozzle was sort of phallic. He then slobbered and cried until he shat his cargo shorts. Tianna's former handlers were asked to clean him up.

Visionary German filmmaker Werner Herzog has shown interest in directing "DICK APPETIT: The Joel Thomas Story," a hot script which has made the rounds in recent weeks. Variety reports that Herzog would prefer to cast an unknown in the title role, saying that since Joel is pretty unknown already, he might as well jump in front of the camera. Whatever.

(pictured above, Peter K displays the new nickname Three 6 Mafia gave to him.