Happy Independence Day from Eat a Dick Joel!

To all the Independent Women (and Men) Pt. 1, we at EADJ wish you a happy and safe July 4.

Fun random factoid:

In Destiny’s Child's 1999 song “Independent Women Pt. 1” for the Charlie’s Angels soundtrack, during the bridge, they’re actually singing the melody to Blondie’s “Rapture”. 

Bridge starts at 2:55

Surprises From Last Week's VidCon

VidCon 2024 has wrapped up, and the industry's leading forum for content creators and. influencers provided lots of surprises to fans and the press. Some highlights:

• Ciabatta Bot used A.I. to make everyone ciabattas.

• Front Dump performed a cover of Gracie Abramss' "I Should Hate You"

• The Diarrhea Sisters gave out free samples

• Jake Paul got knocked out by a Dyson vacuum cleaner

• Khaby Lame appeared to scores of bowing, adoring fans while being carried on a golden palanquin

• Computer generated A.I. hologram influencer ▓▒░█▄■ absorbed a teenage boy and became flesh

Spotted on FB

Jesus. I'd have trouble spelling my name if it was that. 

Spotted in the Target Checkout Line

Pictured below: Stuff Old Ladies Like

Here Is Something You Can't Understand, How I Can Just Racist Appliances

This Week In Out Of Context Screenshots

The ProofrEADJer, August Edition

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto with How To Peel a Potato

Clean the potato. Hold the potato in your non-writing hand by its sides. Grip the knife handle in your writing hand, blade facing you. Curl your fingers around the handle, but not your thumb. Rest your thumb against the potato for stability. Pull the knife toward you slowly, skimming the potato skin layer off as you go. You must work carefully, maintaining complete control over the knife so as not to cut your other hand. Continue the process, rotating the vegetable to achieve the best angles for potato skin removal.

And speaking of skin removal, any of you ladies in your twenties who are spending money on chemical peels and exfoliants and whatnot, don't. I've driven quite a lot of rich girls going to senior prom who will look like leather wallets later in life. So I'm telling you, you'll regret it later in life. Just saying.

They are real. And they are spectacular.

Suddenly there's way too much lime green on this page.

Slow down, big guy.

Joel is on vacation, so there's not a ton to report on EADJ.

Except that Joel is planning to go on a 4-day dick eating marathon (pun intended!) in the sunny Florida Keys. Nothing but sun, fun, and huge Florida cock bouncing in the back of Joel's thirsty mouth. Joel has already filled his schedule, so anyone in the Key Largo, Islamorada, Marathon or Big Pine Key area who wants their dicks eaten in a hammock is out of luck. Joel will be staying at the luxurious Sugarloaf Lodge in a poolside villa. Look for the red NO VAGINAS sign on his hut!

(pictured above, some of the C-K expensable meals you can have under $7)