What In the Fart?

Spotted on FB: a t-shirt design that I swear doesn't make any sense:

Snoopy and Michael Jackson? WTF?

While Peanuts and MJ both have pretty big fan bases, respectively, I can't imagine who would want a shirt with both of them on it. There are like no lyrics or songs of his that mention Peanuts or Snoopy or anything related to angst-ridden, precocious kids with giant sphere heads.

The only connection I can guess is the terrible one with the allegations of Michael Jackson and children. But who would want to wear a shirt with THAT?

 

You Gotta Admire The Man

Snoop Dogg has always been hustling, from Hustler porn videos to kids' breakfast cereal. Respect!

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness, Week of September 29

The level of detail here is staggering. Still, I don't know what the shit is going on.

I see him! He's right there under "Irrelevant MCs."

Each vinyl figure is $300. You think I'm kidding.

Big Smokes waited in the Champagne Room for 45 minutes and started to realize the stripper stood him up.

I'm half tempted to blow on this CD, pop it into my system and play it until my mother grounds me.

It's one thing to pass a kidney stone. But this guy shits out a whole burning planet.

Show me your tits and I'll give you this LV knockoff duffle I got from Chinatown for $30.

Read a good rap song today?

I think we've found the laziest graphic designer right here. 

(Is that a giant pile of macaroni or Spaghetti-O's?)

What happens when your Tinder date stands you up for the Satanic birth ritual without calling.

This Week In Out Of Context Screenshots

Onward, Upward, and Inward.

Joel went to a flower show this week!

He attended "Reflections," a California Garden Club event in sunny Griffin Park. The good thing about this venue is the Visitors Center Auditorium, which seats about 2500 flower enthusiasts and can be converted into a fabulous show room.

Joel was hoping to view some hydrangeas and azaleas, his favorite flowers besides the dick. And although he did manage to catch a few arrangements that piqued his interest, he did notice that there were hardly any dick.

You see, flower shows in L.A. are notorious for not having enough dick. Joel has brought this up with the Los Angeles Flower District Association (the LAFD) multiple times, with no answer. But understandably, the LAFD has refused to include dick in most of their shows after a 2002 incident where Joel ate all of the dick on the first day. So there's that.

(pictured above, a self-styled music critic/vandal goes all aggro in Brooklyn)

The EADJ Snooper!

EADJ presents some numbers and email addresses found on the street*:



*Eat A Dick Joel does not take any responsibility for whatever happens when you write or call any of these publicly-found numbers.