Spotted In South Orange

An event space for people who want it catered by the Little Rascals: 

Sound Advice From a Random Cardboard Box

Pretty good advice overall, for any situation.

Spotted On a Walk

Hey, I remember that show on Fox!

The ProofrEADJer: December Edition

UAG

UAG

A Tempting Scenario At The Supermarket

There, in the produce department. About crotch-height, a scale.

It's about 10:30pm, and hardly anybody else is in the supermarket. No security cameras in sight.

What to do… what to do...

Oh. Also the burning question, how many grams is my dick?

It's South Orange, Not South Green

Pictured below, a quick peek into a South Orange "recycling" garbage can reveals that it's all been a lie:



Very disheartening, South Orange City Hall.

This Week of EADJ Is Brought To You By OraMoist

OraMoist is the first over-the-counter time-released dry mouth disc for whoever has extremely dry mouths, whether it's folks who stand around with their mouths open all day (see Sean "Diddy" Combs) or dudes what smoked a serious bunch of kush, knowhutImean, bud? Huh huh huh huh


Here's how OraMoist works: You stick the disc at the top of your mouth, which stays there for a good 4 hours, then you walk around with a mouth full of spit like Pavlov's fucking dog, drooling all over your shirt and making the girls at work think you're some kind of pervert.




Try OraMoist today, and enjoy the benefits of spitting a huge wad in the face of your sworn enemy! C'est magnifique!

More Hip Hop Awfulness

It's time once again to document the latest and weakest in hip hop. And this time it seems we have to categorize the different kinds of awfulness.

Using Food Imagery For Mixtape Covers


Because the one thing more street than a baker's hat is Canadian currency.


Looks like someone couldn't finish photoshopping the waitress outfit, said "fuck it," and plopped a bag of money to cover her.


Not sure why this is all going down at a Texaco station. Any ideas?

I do, however, appreciate the reflection of the orange in his sunglasses.

Terrible MC Names


"Thirstin Howl III" is a good name because it clearly states that you're rich. It's bad because we all know what rhymes with "third."


"Kil Ripkin." Yup, that's his handle. By adopting this name, this emcee invites comparisons to legendary Hall of Famer and former Orioles shortstop and third baseman Cal Ripken, Jr., who holds the record for consecutive games played (2,632). Except he KILLS. Get it?




General Misappropriation




Other


"DJ H1N1" would actually sound pretty badass.


I'm confused about appropriating the "bodega" theme here, but points for the "Ed Haji" shirt.

A Very Belated Guest Entry From Beth

Months ago, Beth had expressed her displeasure at the new Tropicana Orange Juice packaging that PepsiCo had asked the Peter Arnell Group to design. Like a lot of consumers, she couldn't understand why something that wasn't broke needed fixing. And after much encouragement from EADJ, Beth started to write a tirade against the redesign as a blog entry. But then she flaked and whatever. Wait, no, actually I think EADJ didn't deem the piece funny enough. Either way.

But now, Beth's going to Northwestern in the fall to get an MBA or GED or some crap, and she was cleaning out her computer files at work. She finally shares with us her never-completed masterpiece:

Where do I begin? Seriously – where should my eyes begin reading the craptacular amount of copy on a simple orange juice box, and in what direction. There only need to be three words – “Tropicana”. “Orange.” “Juice”. Instead they waste my time saying that it is squeezed from fresh oranges, it’s 100% orange pure and natural, and oh by the way, its 100% pure and natural orange juice. The best part is probably that little half orange on the top. Except it eerily reminds me of the leftovers from a bris.

Hellooooo Mobius!

This EADJ reporter was lucky to have spotted another Mobius Award outside of the CK reception area. This was at the Henry Ford Museum in Detroit, Michigan!


And not only that, but 2 other random awards were recognized nearby! Like what the hell are these things?!


When she heard the news, Jessica checked the CK reception area in a panic to make sure the Henry Ford Museum hadn't somehow pinched the trophies from Cramer-Krasselt. Yep, they're still there! Whew!


BONUS FUN FACT: The average Mobius award weighs .76 lbs! That's 1/4 the weight of Jessica!