UAG

Some Random Wrong Answers From Various Episodes of "Family Feud"

Like the title explains perfectly above without any set-up language necessary, here are some random wrong answers from various episodes of "Family Feud":

• Blinged out caskets

• Donald J. Trump

• Fisting

• Potato tragedies

• My cousin Frieda who I find kind of hot

• Richard Dawson

• Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus

• in my rectum

• Florence Foster Jenkins

• The comic strip "MUTTS"

• hopefully in Hell

• shingles

 

Some New Perks of an AMC Stubs Rewards Membership (Coronavirus Update 2)

The worldwide pandemic and country-wide quarantines have caused a massive drop in business for movie theaters, including AMC. In order to encourage people to risk infection and patronize their theaters, AMC has granted FREE membership of the Stubs Rewards card to anyone who comes in or even walks by the building. Here are the ADJUSTED free perks that now come with the Stubs membership card:

• Free 2020 Land Rover Discovery or Discovery Sport (you choose the color)

• Free air* *may be infected with coronavirus

• WE WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR 2.5 HOURS

• Free passes to the next 500 movies oh god please stay

• Contactless back massages

• If you pull your dick out we won't tell. Nobody's here!

• If you are Harvey Weinstein, sorry we can't let you in. We do still have our standards.

• Plastic wrapped straws for safe drinking although the soda machine is filthy

• We promise not to show the movies "Virus", "Outbreak", "Contagion", or "28 Days Later"

• You can run the place from now on. Go ahead. We're outta here!

UAG

UAG

UAG

Let's Dispense With The Pleasantries When Talking To The EADJ Mail Sack!

Forwarded by John Reid, an email:


--------------

From: chike chukwuonye
Subject: Fw: Invest & mangerment for an Artist and songwriter
To: licensing@atlantic-records.com
Date: Friday, September 30, 2011, 7:16 AM


Hello i'm a singer with recorded songs in demo and lots of sound tracks searching for music mangerment. your intresting will permit me to reach you with my promo copy audio CD


Name. Chukwuonye pat chike.
Stage name. Dibaocha.
Nationality. Nigeria. west Africa
Based in china..
Artist and songwriter CHUKWUONYE PAT.CHIKE ( a.k.a DIBAOCHA) IS among African'smost talented artsit,comedian,songwriter Hip hop,R&B,Rap's and a great singer,speaks English,AND Chinese.Already Record 6 songs demo and creat 12 sound tracks. looking forward for a better mangement.copyright and outright commission. to lead his dream true in the musical world.

I'm sincerely yours
Dibaocha.
+8615975505068...china mobile





I'm surprised he hasn't found proper "mangerment" yet. But how do I know this is an email from the real Ochosky Dibaocha and not some impostor looking to profit off his good name?

EADJ Travelogue

Spotted by J'Net in Rio De Janeiro, a store display for women's underwear:



"Brazil loves its butts," muttered J'Net.

Four True Facts About Matt G and One Lie

• He played Baron Von Trapp in the high school production of "The Sound of Music," but since he couldn't sing, he didn't do a solo of "Edelweiss."

• He's short.

• Earlier this week, he asked me why I haven't filmed him for a "What Matt Thinks" segment, which we now plan to do on Friday.

• He studied a semester abroad at Oxford.

• He once punched a bouncer so hard in the nuts that the guy passed out.

Wedding Tip 6: Freeballin' It

A belated, after-the-fact Wedding Tip from Jessica to J'Net.

Not to be taken orally.

A Purell-sponsored PSA campaign has been released today with Joel as its spokesperson. The campaign urges young people to clean whatever dick they're about to eat. Purell has released statistics stating that over the past four years, over 60% of young people who eat dick haven't cleaned it or didn't know where the dick has been. The campaign consists of three spots: "Itch," "Scrubbing," and "Balls Too." Joel uses his trademark good looks and charm while speaking to the camera. He even wears his trademark teal leather jacket with rivets spelling "TOSS THAT MEAT" on the back. More installments of the campaign are to be filmed later this year in Modesto and Bangkok.

(pictured above, Kenurkey angrily denies rumors that he's been sent by Joel to divert the teasing his way)