A Pamphlet I Spotted at City Hall

"TOGETHER WE CAN CONTROL RATS"

Cool! I wanna control the back legs!

Goodbye to the Things That Marketers Want You To Say Goodbye To!

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Bye bye! Goodbye! 

New Rewards Benefits For AMC Stubs Members

The benefits just keep adding up for both new and existing AMC Stubs cardholders! Here are the latest perks you can enjoy at your next trip to an AMC Theatre:

• We'll rearrange the marquee letters outside to display your Social Security number

• If you don't like a movie, we will supply you with a $1.8 million budget with cast and crew to shoot your own version.

• Free nasty, germy 3D glasses that have probably sat on the head of some brat with lice

• Free refills of Absolut Vodka if you purchase a bottle at the AMC bar

• Trent in the concession stand would love to discuss Sean Hannity with you if you would ever want to discuss Sean Hannity with someone.

• 1/2 off all plot twists and MacGuffins

• If you are caught videotaping a movie in the theatre for illegal distribution, we will simply tut-tut and wag our finger at you.

• Do you like cheese? Because I do, too.

• Your own personalized emergency exit

• Free funeral if you die, but the coffin must be AMC-branded

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

Due to contract changes, the following movies and TV shows will be removed from Netflix this week:

• Container Store Wars

• Garrison Keillor's Mexican Variety Show

• Two Broke Girls With Their Daddy's Credit Card

• Mike Pence's Prayer Bibletime and Shower Show

• TENDONS

• Junior Health Inspectors

• Last Heckler Standing

• Stuff That Fits Inside Your Mom

• So You Think You Can Spell

The following movies and TV shows will be added to Netflix this week:

• Old People Talking About Their Arthritis

• Gay Guys RomCom Viewing Party

• Visigoths! Visigoths! Visigoths!

• Another Crappy 70s Show Reboot

• Even Younger Sheldon

• Opioid! The Musical

• Moose Knuckle & Camel Toe

• Vince Offer, the Slap Chop Ninja

UAG