This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

I'm not scared of this guy at all. Am I supposed to be?

I reached for this, thinking it was the "Dirty Dancing" soundtrack.

Dollar Store Notorious B.I.G., anyone? I know, I know. It's a "tribute."

I'm guessing hospitals are now discharging babies in diapers and ski masks. 

I like this.

"A Lars Ulrich is on line two."

A tribute Bulworth. Looks like Lana Del Rey vomiting LilYachty.

The ProofrEADJer, May Edition

More Hip Hop Awfulness

It's time once again to document the latest and weakest in hip hop. And this time it seems we have to categorize the different kinds of awfulness.

Using Food Imagery For Mixtape Covers


Because the one thing more street than a baker's hat is Canadian currency.


Looks like someone couldn't finish photoshopping the waitress outfit, said "fuck it," and plopped a bag of money to cover her.


Not sure why this is all going down at a Texaco station. Any ideas?

I do, however, appreciate the reflection of the orange in his sunglasses.

Terrible MC Names


"Thirstin Howl III" is a good name because it clearly states that you're rich. It's bad because we all know what rhymes with "third."


"Kil Ripkin." Yup, that's his handle. By adopting this name, this emcee invites comparisons to legendary Hall of Famer and former Orioles shortstop and third baseman Cal Ripken, Jr., who holds the record for consecutive games played (2,632). Except he KILLS. Get it?




General Misappropriation




Other


"DJ H1N1" would actually sound pretty badass.


I'm confused about appropriating the "bodega" theme here, but points for the "Ed Haji" shirt.

EADJ ENTRY #400 for 2008!

Eat A Dick Joel has been committed to giving you the freshest, most consistent blog entries it can scrape together at the last minute. And since its inception, EADJ has never failed once to post at least one entry every weekday. You can take that to the bank, Cheryl.


Actually, uh, no, Pewter Bear. We were congratulating ourselves on 400 entries this year, not saying 2008 was a great year. 2008 was not a great year. It was a pretty terrible year, actually. The biggest stock market dive in American history, the mudslinging of the Presidential election, and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull? Oh, for crying out loud, why are we even talking to you? What we should have said is FUCK OFF.


Also, we hope your entire family dies of tuberculosis, Pewter Bear. Forgot to mention that.

An Open Letter to Hummer H2 Owners

Dear Hummer H2 Owner:

Ha ha. So now what, bitch? You shelled out $35K for a big honking super-SUV status symbol a few years ago, and now you're feeling regret? Awesome.

Sure, you knew it would look "commanding" in front of the P.F. Chang's and the Blockbuster Video when you'd double park it during your errands. PLUS you knew beforehand that Hummers only have like 11 MPG. But it was worth the gas money to look "boss" for the "ladies," right?

Buuut, you didn't count on gas getting this expensive. Or society going all green. And now GM's own Kelton Research study says that "at a party, 80% of US car buyers would rather chat up the owner of a fuel-efficient car than someone with a fancy new sports car." So even women at parties don't think you're cool.


Oh, you say no big deal, that you already make plenty of money to offset the $128+ it takes to fill your tank? And those girls at the party were skanks anyway? Hey, that's exactly the standard numbnutted douchebag response we were expecting!

So enjoy your three-ton brick, pal. Maybe you can just fill it with Gatorade now and push it around like a sports bottle. Or fill it with vinegar so you can douche, you douche.

Fuck your mother,
Eat a Dick Joel