Showing posts with label purple velour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label purple velour. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Some Bad But Available Porn Names


Welcome to the set, hot shot! Ready to film your first porno film? Great. I'm sure Terri got you all the tax and insurance forms to sight, right? Oh, and there's one more thing before we begin filming. You'll need to either come up with or pick out your own porn name. Here's a Pabst Blue Ribbon ashtray full of unused porn names which you're welcome to, but beware– they're pretty bad:


Him


Kirk O. Vin


Dick Engvalls


P. Mature Ejaculation


Joe Nevernude


Russ Undressing


Chui Balls



Her


Miss Cegenation

Ava Lanche


Bleached Dubois


Peaches Crematorium


Catherine Ummethyne Dumpster

Thursday, July 10, 2014

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness




Who farted? No seriously, who farted?


Apparently anthropomorphic sharks don't know shit about proper firearm grip.


Common cannot believe you haven't watched the critically acclaimed AMC series "Hell On Wheels" yet. It's already into its fourth season and has been nominated for an Emmy and a Saturn Award. For shame. What's wrong with you?!


This is both confusing and boring. Were they coming up with album cover ideas in an office break room?


"Come with me if you want to listen to shitty dirty south trappin'."


"Hmm. I know I left my super-conductive black horse around here somewhere…"


HIP HOP AWFULNESS UPDATE:

Good news. Meyhem Lauren, we finally found you A CHAIR!


ENJOY!


Thursday, August 5, 2010

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto With How To Legally Annul A Marriage


First of all, you need to live in the state where you'd like to receive an annulment. Most states have residency requirements that must be followed in order to be considered for an annulment.

Know that annulment criteria vary by state. Hire an attorney in your area who can guide you through the requirements of your state as you begin the annulment process.

And thirdly, consider the necessary criteria that can make your marriage eligible for an annulment. If the married couple are biologically close relatives (parent and child, grandparent and grandchild) than they are eligible for an annulment. If one of the parties is deemed mentally incapable to be married due to drunkenness or mental disease at the time of the marriage, than an annulment is a viable option. If one or both of the parties didn't meet age requirements or if the union was never consummated, the marriage is eligible to be declared invalid.

And speaking of marriage, when I drive couples during weddings, often brides will stand up through the sunroof and automatically lose their veils because of the wind. Then they make me turn the limo around to pick it up off the street, because it's some "valuable heirloom" or something. People, stop being assholes.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Some More Things That I JUST Noticed

Maybe I'm just dense. But here are a few more items I've only figured out now:

Stacy "Fergie" Ferguson's album "The Dutchess (sic)" is sort of a reference to The Duchess of York Sarah "Fergie" Ferguson.



The Internet imageboard 4chan is a phonetic play on the word "fortune."




The doorways on the Chrysler Building are in the shape of a coffin.


Friday, March 7, 2008

Best Ad Ever. Of the Week.


Keys to awesomeness:

1) Bizarre use of Myriad Pro (why is prostate cancer upside down?)

2) Some sort of weird play on words for "Gentlemen prefer blondes?!?!"

3) Misusing the verb tense for "gentleman."

Apparently Cola is editing again.

***UPDATE: For a riveting, hypnotic look at the entire campaign in Quicktime form, click here.

Monday, December 31, 2007

End of the Year Closeout: Part 2

Tonight we retire another EADJ bit: The misplaced item in Pathmark. Partly because we want to just retire this bit. And partly because the security guard at Pathmark threatened to throw me out of the place next time she saw me taking pictures.








Barnes and Noble step up to the plate:



Not that Safeway in Maryland's any better:





Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Adden-dick.

There was something familiar about the cover of the August issue of Wassup Magazine, but the EADJ editors couldn't place it. That was, until we broke out our New Jack Swing LP collection. Yep Yep.