Bathroom Maniac

Spotted in the Barnes and Noble (yes, they're still around) in Elizabeth, NJ, someone snuck some unpaid Legos into a bathroom stall and went to town:



Whee!





Wow, it's been a long time, Pewter Bear. And you've arrived just in time to be the voice of reason...no, wait. Scratch that. Not the voice of reason- the voice of bitchy-ass contrary pussy shit. Christ, did anybody ASK your opinion? Because we sure the fuck didn't. There aren't enough fucking fists in the world that could pound your miserable face enough. Do you understand how much we hate you yet?


Oh, you haven't SEEN hostile yet, bitch. Stay right here, let me get my gun...

Look At This Asshole.

Just look at her. Walking down stairs while on her phone. You're gonna break your neck that way, lady. Can't you wait till the bottom of the stairs before checking your email? What an asshole.

Sent from my iPhone

Spotted At Barnes & Noble

Why am I typing. Do I even need to add any text to this. No. The photo says it all. It is hilarious enough. Typing anything to accompany the photo would only detract from its perfection, its beauty. Its utter hilarious, head-shaking horribleness. And the ongoing horrible, horrible trend that's happening in movies and bookstores, thanks to millions of teenyboppers: publishers are cranking out crap novellas catering to that exact audience. And inevitably, these ripoffs of that terrible book to begin with will be even terrible-er.

Oh, did you notice the cover artwork on the books. Yeah, I thought you would. Totally emo, sensitive dude. It looks like either variant covers- or a more terrifying possibility- an entire series of shitty vampire teen novellas. Which means if they sell well, you'll soon be seeing trailers for the movies based on these terrible novellas in theatres soon. Starring terrible Robert Pattinson clones playing sensitive teenage vampires who somehow walk around in the daylight.

Vampires. It's an entire genre now at the bookstore. These things will breed like mushrooms, and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Man.

For Shame, Barnes & Noble.

Joel would read that, though.

Quirky, Indeed.

Pictured below, John Reid finds a familiar face at the Barnes & Noble.

End of the Year Closeout: Part 2

Tonight we retire another EADJ bit: The misplaced item in Pathmark. Partly because we want to just retire this bit. And partly because the security guard at Pathmark threatened to throw me out of the place next time she saw me taking pictures.








Barnes and Noble step up to the plate:



Not that Safeway in Maryland's any better:

Oh Curlz You Di-in't!

Joel doesn't dust.

That's what his chimp servant Chad Yarborough found out when it tried to ask Joel to help out for once. It had a pilates class to teach and couldn't get around to cleaning the apartment. Joel said he was too busy "researching a screenplay" as he watched the Bionic Woman marathon with his dick in his hand.

Joel being unwilling to help forced his chimp servant clean forced it to cancel class, thus cheating it out of $400.

Later that night, Joel didn't notice it, but there was a hint of chimp pee in his pesto ravioli.

(pictured above, using Curlz is bad enough. But using Curlz in ALL CAPS is even worse– especially in The Matrix)