EADJ: The Editorial Quality Is Definitely Slipping

 

Yesterday we posted what we thought was an entry that we had forgotten to post, and it turns out we had already posted the damn thing as a makeup post for forgetting to post anything for the first time in the history of EADJ.

Words cannot describe how embarrassed the editorial staff is at this double gaffe, and we assure both of you reading that are working hard to provide you with the best, freshest, most non-redundant content on the blogosphere.

Seacrest out.

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto With How To Legally Annul A Marriage

First of all, you need to live in the state where you'd like to receive an annulment. Most states have residency requirements that must be followed in order to be considered for an annulment.

Know that annulment criteria vary by state. Hire an attorney in your area who can guide you through the requirements of your state as you begin the annulment process.

And thirdly, consider the necessary criteria that can make your marriage eligible for an annulment. If the married couple are biologically close relatives (parent and child, grandparent and grandchild) than they are eligible for an annulment. If one of the parties is deemed mentally incapable to be married due to drunkenness or mental disease at the time of the marriage, than an annulment is a viable option. If one or both of the parties didn't meet age requirements or if the union was never consummated, the marriage is eligible to be declared invalid.

And speaking of marriage, when I drive couples during weddings, often brides will stand up through the sunroof and automatically lose their veils because of the wind. Then they make me turn the limo around to pick it up off the street, because it's some "valuable heirloom" or something. People, stop being assholes.

Overheard Outside the Whitney Museum of Modern Art

"Hey, you like art? You paying big bucks to look at the art in theah? Well, look at this art, right heah. You can take this shit home right now. Not like them Picassos and Rembrandts and shit. You can take one o' these African masks or whatever and hang that shit on your wall tonight, son.

"You don't like the scary voodoo masks? Well, check this shit out, then: authentic African shields! You can hang this on your wall, or lay it out on your table. Hell, you can even use it like a real shield when you're in the middle of a riot when the Mets win and shit.

"Yeah, I know. I'm peddling historical replicas of a very specific culture outside essentially a modern art museum that focuses more on contemporary art from their private collections in small, focused galleries. But fuck it, you know?"

Dumb YouTube Comment O' The Fortnight!

From the Youtube page about Jimmy Kimmel Live containing a blooper where he says the word "clit" accidentally, a comment by ChinaYouku:

"Yuanmingyuan curzoniae Chinese buyers show up first refused to pay!"

Strike Out, Joel.

Things that Joel has learned over the course of the Writer's Strike:

Day one: Not working is kind of fun!

Day two: My toes are kind of webbed if you look at them in the right light.

Day three: Nikki and Victor are an eternally doomed couple on The Young and the Restless

Day four: Unrefrigerated Vong's Thai Kitchen leftovers don't keep or taste too good.

Day five: Writer's agents don't call as often when writers are striking.

Day six: Loneliness is disorienting and Silvia Plath poems make more sense.

Day seven: My testicles smell worse when you use Pine Sol.

Day eight: Wow. Silvia Plath totally gets it all.

Day nine: Being broke isn't as heroic and honorable as those Okie Dust Bowl people say.

Day ten: Dick still tastes awesome. A comfort in these times.

(pictured above, the new trend in album cover art– just putting someone's big fat face on the cover)