The Wages of Sin is Pathmark

The ProofrEADJer: Mid-April Edition

And for shame, CNN:

No, We Aren't Out of Alternate Taglines For A Godawful Movie That Was Released Years Ago.

Path: Mark As Bear: Thunder

That's all I got right now. Sorry.

EADJ Fashion Roundup: Suspicious Character Edition

IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING. LIKE IF YOU SEE WHAT COULD BE AN OPERATIVE OF A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION LIKE COBRA COMMANDER, PLEASE REPORT IT TO THE POLICE.

I don't want to sound racist, but if you're gonna wear a yarmulke and those 180s ear warmers, why not just cover your entire head with a sombrero?

 High heeled sneakers are wildly impractical, but at least they look great, right? No.

Here a suspicious character, possibly a secret agent or government operative, works on decoding a message.

I used my FBI training to surreptitiously zoom in on what he was holding without being detected, using my "iPhone," I perpetrated like I was talkin'.

What is he holding? Launch codes? A schematic for a maxiumum security alarm system?

Oh. A Sudoku. And an easy one, if you ask me. What kind of government operative can't complete a simple Sudoku? Idiot.

UAG

Off-Brand TP Roundup: Mini Dingleberry Entry

Brand: Monogram Embossed Bathroom Tissue
Label: Generic yellow stripe to tell the ladies to wipe their pee with it
Feels Like: Wearing a thong made of heated rope


Brand: Cormatic 2-Ply White Bath Tissue
Label: Reassuring script initial cap
Feels Like: Waterboarding your anus


Brand: Vantage RDA
Label: Rectangle-over-starburst-over-circle label; mysterious "RDA" acronym
Feels Like: Raspily Dabs Asshole


Brand: Quill.com Bath Tissue
Label: Odd choice.com of using a working URL in the actual product name.com; Feather in the Q
Feels Like: Wiping.com your ass.net with an actual feather.org

NY vs NJ

Since moving to Maplewood, NJ from Brooklyn, NY this EADJ reporter has noticed some serious cultural differences between the two fine cities.

Tools in Brooklyn:


Tools in Maplewood:



Garbage in Maplewood:


Garbage in Brooklyn:


Cart in Brooklyn:


Cart in Maplewood:


Wildlife in Maplewood:


Wildlife in Brooklyn:



A note in Maplewood:


A note in Brooklyn: