Happy Valentines Day from Eat A Dick Joel

We at EADJ would like to wish you a happy, safe, uninfected Valentines Day. Get your freak on. Make love to your old man (or lady). And rest in the assurance that you have a whole year before you have to buy stupid flowers and teddy bears just so they don't get mad at you.

Another Episode of "Where Are They Now?"

Most people remember Balloon Weights as the only woman of Sri Lankan descent to ever appear in an Elvis Presley movie. Unfortunately, Mrs. Weights passed away at the age of 94 last year. She spent her retired years gardening and stripping for charity.

After getting the funding from "Shark Tank" to start her recyclable detergent company started, Tusken Ballista found love on the talk show circuit and is currently happily married to Jimmy Fallon.

No longer a fixture on NPR's "Marketplace", Cotton Bunting is now serving 3 years in federal prison for witness tampering in the sexual assault case of his former wrestling coach.

I Know We Just Did This On Monday, But Somehow It's Time Again To Say Goodbye To All The Bullshit Marketers Want You To Say Goodbye To

Bye! Goodbye! Goodbye! *kiss* Goodbye!

A Very Hardworking Entry

Take a look at the following photo.

This photo demonstrates the very real danger of wearing stripes when in a cross walk. That poor guy almost gets killed. So this could be considered (a) an EADJ fashion entry, right?

But look. That guy kind of resembles our own Andrew Gall.

So that also qualifies this as (b) a doppelganger entry.

Now, zoom over to the right a little bit. What is that next to the mailbox?

"Stack Of Mail Bins was so lonely."

See, now we've also got ourselves (c) a things-with-faces entry!

Holy crap, I had no idea a photo I'd take would be such a gamechanging genre-bender!

Another (One-Sided) IM To Jessica

A Step Closer To Understanding.

I was wondering all this time where the fuck Noel got the bizarro idea of showing the girls at work a photo of his dick in a watch.

Then I saw my spam folder in Gmail: