Time To Say Goodbye To Stuff That Marketers Want Us To Say Goodbye To!

Goodbye 5X!

With Great Power Comes Great Racist Appliances

That Logo Looks Familiar

Spotted at Bob's Furniture in Jersey, a set of "Bob-O-Pedic" children's furniture:

EADJ Pun Police

What's all this here then? I'm patrolling the streets for that most heinous, most egregious of misdemeanors, the bloody pun. And let me tell you, guv'nor, this job is not for you sensitive nancies. Wot?


Oh, bugger. That's a terrible one, eh? Dwayne Johnson himself falling victim to an easy play on words, wot? Oy, come back here! Don't you run from me! Stop!


"Peelin' lucky?" Because you bloody peel the game pieces off to play the dodgy McDonald's sweepstakes thingy? Terrible, Mr. Monopoly. I'm going to have to write you a citation for...wait! You can't run from me, you hear? Come back here! *blows whistle*


Not so much a 'groaner' as it is just limp and tired. Not even worth my time, really. Carry on, luv.


Augh! That one really burned me in me front bits! Awful, just awful! Must beat it back with me bobby stick! Hey, come back here! You are running away from me right now!


What a load of codswallop. That's not even how you really pronounce 'phuket,' so you can't really count that one as a pun. Not in the traditional sense.


Ghastly! Two awful bloody puns in the same place! *blows whistle* Come back here! There's no excuse for "Britney Spares!" It doesn't even make sense! Stop! Police!

Selling His Wares

Joel dispensed with the formalities today and opened his own dick-flavored ice cone stand. Now, an ice cone is different from a Sno-Cone® in that it doesn't have shaved ice and sweet flavoring in a paper cone but instead has small round granules of ice with dick-flavoring in a cone shaped like Joel's forearms.

Joel opened shop on the corner of Mullholland and Sepulveda Boulevard, which is a terrible location, seeing how it's in the middle of nowhere. But it was next to one of those kids twirling the shit out of a real estate sign, so there's some kind of audience there.

Joel was actually not selling dick so much as shopping for it. That day, he only sold 2.5 ice cones but met 40 men. He also got to show a couple of his terrible screenplays to a few producers and a Walgreen's greeter. All that free time out there on that mountain also gave Joel the chance to write a new screenplay entitled, "Cross Reference," the coming-of-age story of an aspiring screenwriter who meets a successful producer with long golden locks and a massive chest who looks like Sawyer from "Lost" but who would actually return your phone calls, for crying out loud.

(pictured above, some graffiti that worked!)