Death, Taxes, and Pathmark

I used to love doing this bit. Then I grew tired of it. Then I quit doing it. Then I reluctantly started doing the bit again. Now I love it again. It's so... comforting.

EADJ Pun Police

What's all this here then? I'm patrolling the streets for that most heinous, most egregious of misdemeanors, the bloody pun. And let me tell you, guv'nor, this job is not for you sensitive nancies. Wot?


Oh, bugger. That's a terrible one, eh? Dwayne Johnson himself falling victim to an easy play on words, wot? Oy, come back here! Don't you run from me! Stop!


"Peelin' lucky?" Because you bloody peel the game pieces off to play the dodgy McDonald's sweepstakes thingy? Terrible, Mr. Monopoly. I'm going to have to write you a citation for...wait! You can't run from me, you hear? Come back here! *blows whistle*


Not so much a 'groaner' as it is just limp and tired. Not even worth my time, really. Carry on, luv.


Augh! That one really burned me in me front bits! Awful, just awful! Must beat it back with me bobby stick! Hey, come back here! You are running away from me right now!


What a load of codswallop. That's not even how you really pronounce 'phuket,' so you can't really count that one as a pun. Not in the traditional sense.


Ghastly! Two awful bloody puns in the same place! *blows whistle* Come back here! There's no excuse for "Britney Spares!" It doesn't even make sense! Stop! Police!

The EADJ Snooper!

EADJ presents some numbers and email addresses found on the street*:



*Eat A Dick Joel does not take any responsibility for whatever happens when you write or call any of these publicly-found numbers.