You Might Not Be Ready For This.

Just when we thought the matter had died down, and there was no more reason to ever report on it again, it happened: we came across a TALLER, YOUNGER VERSION OF SCOTT PETERSON.




Such a bombshell has rocked the scientific community, especially since the last spotting of the Shorter Fatter Version of Scott Peterson was as long ago as October 26, 2007 by Emilies Sander and Kane. Journals everywhere are scrambling to publish the findings. Curiously, however, Scott himself is unimpressed:

(via email) "There is a slight resemblance, however he seems to lack my outgoing personality."

Personality aside, this new discovery opens a whole slew of new possibilities. Is Scott not the end but merely a link in the ongoing evolution of his species? Or could it perversely actually BE the Shorter Fatter Version of Scott Peterson who's moved to New York with weight-loss, shoe lifts, and a few chemical peels? Such a notion is possible considering the abrupt end of SFVOSP spottings in Chicago.




It should again be noted here that Vince has NEVER seen the SFVOSP.

Let's Gamble the EADJ Mail Sack's Life Savings Away on Keno!

Submitted by John Reid, a photo that we cannot accept due to the fact that EADJ has retired the whole Curlz MT bit:


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Submitted by Emily Kane via email:

Actual phone conversation had by me and sander earlier today…

Me: we’re eating in the Kriv

Sander: you’re eating the Kriv? like, the Curlz sign?

Me: yeah.

Me: …

Me: i wonder what Curlz MT tastes like.


Sadly, we cannot accept this entry, either.

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Submitted by Jessica, an IM convo between her and Suz:


Here is the EADJ post they're talking about.
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Submitted by Ranee Wu via IM:

Oh My Shit. ‡‡‡‡BREAKING SFVOSP NEWS!!!!‡‡‡‡

Last night, at exactly 7:43 pm, Emily Sander and Emily Kane spotted the Shorter, Fatter Version of Scott Peterson!

"It was so amazing," Emily Sander texted, "Kane and I passed him on Michigan and then ran him down."

Sander and Kane's encounter has ended weeks of feverish speculation that Mister Wood had left his job at Adminastar Federal on the 22nd floor to pursue a career in fashion design or catty celebrity blogging. His last spotting was on Sept 25 by Phil Flicklicker.

This marks the first time in EADJ history that TWO people have spotted him together! The photograph above is only icing on the shorter, fatter cake. EADJ has seen fit to award both Emilies the coveted Platinum Mollusk Award for this watershed moment. Emily Sander's name has also been added to the list at the bottom of this page, under the shitty dartboard game.

Meanwhile, poor Vince has never seen the SFVOSP. Somebody help him!

Iko Iko Eat a Dick

A furious argument between Joel and his chimp servant resulted in a shutdown of internet access for the entire apartment complex. Mrs. Jannis downstairs complained that she was busy reading plot summaries for "Passions" when it shut down. Jimmy and Duncan in 3A were chatting with whores on the True® dating network. Bryan Dixon was updating his myspace page for the 8,644,301st time, adding some photos of some city in the Czech Republic. I forget which.

Joel and his chimp servant apologized to most of the complex. Except for old Mr. Fischer, who has yet to give Joel back his dick bowl from that potluck dinner.

(pictured above, Emily S rubs her strep ass all over the Café Kriv)

Hey Minus!

(pictured above, Suz and Emily show their enthusiasm for a good grade given by a trade mag to an ad agency that they work at)

Toss It Like It's Hot

(pictured above, Emily 2 becomes a futo maki while Dean mugs)

And What You Joel Is What You Dick

Luggage!

Joel went luggage shopping today at TravelPro in Santa Monica, hoping to find a light roller for his weekend dick-eating jaunts up the PCH.

He liked a blue medium upright, but the pockets were too shallow, and the wheels, although they did swivel in all directions, didn't have a brake mechanism (This second feature is important to Joel when he eats dick while waiting at a cab stand).

A silver hardside roller caught his eye, but the awkward handle and the $300 price tag weren't to his liking. Also, the compartments were too small to carry all his dick-eating paraphernalia and equipment.

Joel finally settled on a beige Walkabout Lite. It had a nice garment-hanging handle, two deep pockets for both weed and dick, and the expandable front flap sealed the deal. Joel could barely contain his erection as he skipped with the roller to his convertible Rabbit. His chimp servant seemed to enjoy the ride as well. On his erection.

(pictured above, Ranee Wu gets paid by pirating some holistic medicine booklet horseshit )

**SUZEMILY THEATRE UPDATE** Thanks to the persistent urgings of fans like Phil Flicklicker, both charter members of the Suzemily Theatre Players have agreed to return to the stage on Friday. The duo were seen rehearsing a scene from Grey's Anatomy earlier Wednesday by the Foursquare Court in the Creative Department Annex. Ticketmaster will open the box office at 7am tomorrow. Tickets start at $8 plus an $89 convenience charge.

Emily Threads the Needle

Emily has a more presentational style.

Afternoon EADJ Photo

(pictured above, Vince and Andrew ruin a totally badass photo)