We Are The Future.

Left: A promotional poster for a slap championship.

Right: The Presidential cabinet from "Idiocracy".

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

"The hole in the hat is for whenever my bra gets delivered."

Turns out businessmen from Nebraska do mind if they somehow end up on the cover of your mixtape after getting wasted in Reno with you and your crew.

A class action lawsuit against Stridex was filed later that week.

I don't get it. "Brain dump?"

Ladies and gentlemen, the Tomi Lahren of hip hop.

I've got nothing comical or mean to say about this. I'm happy for her? Pass.

They guys couldn't understand what was taking the girls so long to show up.

MF Doom is still somehow doing it. (It is still him, right?)

The Few Things I've Learned About The Tapout Crew Just By Looking At Photos Of Them and Nothing Else

1) The Tapout Crew consists of three members: Guy With Dumb Hats and Makeup Who Always Has His Mouth Open, Miniature Cholo, and Accountant With Disco Wig.

2) The Tapout Crew exists to promote Tapout, the clothing brand. Or is it an energy drink? Maybe it's a mixed martial arts league? Fuck if I know.

3) Of all his dumb hats, Guy With Dumb Hats and Makeup seems to prefer the dumb top hat with the fur fringe the most; it's his fall-back hat.

4) When taking photos, Guy With Dumb Hats and Makeup probably isn't making any noise with his open mouth, which looks pretty pathetic when you're on set.

5) Miniature Cholo's action figure is 1:1 scale.

6) The three members of Tapout Crew often weep openly whilst jerking each other off in the back of a limo on the way to a gig. This acts as a motivating ritual for two of them.

***ABSURD TRAGIC UPDATE***

Uh, apparently, one of these gentlemen DIED in 2009. Whoops.