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Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

Due to contract changes, the following movies and TV shows will be removed from Netflix this week:

• Hard Teachers

• Peter Kriss's Makeup Tutorials

• Slapping Fat Dudes: The Series

• Finding A Public Bathroom in Brooklyn

• Separation Anxiety: The Laundry Game Show

• Server Transfer Emergencies

• Nothing: The Bible Prequel

• Is This Salt?

The following movies and TV shows will be added to Netflix this week:

• Titpuncher

• Gory Manicure Stories

• Labelmaker Wars

• Stanisław Szukalski: The Erotic Stories

• Nude Male Bookmarks

• French Onion Soup: The Criterion Edition

• Moon Unit Zappa Reflects On Aging and Mortality

• The Kool-Aid Nighttime Mysteries, Rated M

• Faces Of Death Babies

• Shiva and Shivs: Hindus in Prison

• Yelling At Cheese

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of November 19, 2018

Bigamy is the act of going through a marriage ceremony while already married to another person. I'm not sure what that has anything to do with unpopular Twitter hashtags, but I got bored writing the same intro for this segment. Here are hashtags nobody uses:

#haggissliders

#Trumpdignity

#cornbreadfarts

#DoratheColonizer

#bitcoinphilanthropist

#Napasoulmusicfestival

#thisiswhyIgotintoembalming

#whyyesIdlovetotakeashortsurveyforyou

#learningsomethingfromaFacebookargument

#caughtbetweenarockandaslightlysofterrockbutstillaprettyhardplace

Some More Things Cuter Than Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande is a 25 year old grown-ass woman now, but she'll still have you believe she's a bashful, doe-eyed Kewpie doll. A few previous EADJ entries documented a few things that are cuter than her. Here is yet another.

• Any Japanese cartoon mascot

• Chubby illustrated stars with fat little legs and arms

• Animal crackers, especially the little elephants

• The element Helium

• Sleeping hedgehogs

• How Axl Rose thinks "he's still got it"

• Baby pacifiers that make it look like they have vampire teeth

• Doll pants

• The tiny mews kittens make when they're pissed

Even More Selections From The Sharper Image Catalog

Sharper Image continues to decimate the Amazon Rainforest by mailing out paper catalogs that no one but rich gullible douches order from. Here are some of the things they fell for this month:

Click to enlarge and read:

A Few More Mall Kiosks And What Their Attendants Are Probably Thinking

The following is what Christian at the Cell-Fun kiosk in Minot, North Dakota was thinking about:

• I can't believe I get paid to surf on Yahoo.

• I am so lonely, actually.

• That nerdy sister from "Modern Family" has a rack, hasn't she?

The following is what Trent at the Custom You Always kiosk in Provo, Utah was thinking about:

• I can't decide if I'm a tit man, an ass man, or a dick man

• I wish they'd make Nutty Buddies but without the nuts, cuz I'm allergic

• I just sharted, but I only have 3 more hours till I have to clock out.

The following is what Emilio at the Repair Screenz Explosion kiosk in Jonesboro, Arkansas was thinking about:

• FUCK, where is my wallet???!!!

• Did one of those kids who walked by pick my goddamned pocket???!!!! I'll KILL THEM!!!!

• Oh, there it is. Other pocket. :)

The following is what Saanvi at the Carved Edge kiosk in Auburn Hills, Michigan was thinking about:

• Am I going crazy, or are there swastikas in the carpet?

• I definitely need to keep an eye on the merchandise- otherwise someone might steal all of it, and that's gotta be worth about $23.

• I poisoned the box of Munchkins in the break room fridge to catch the lunch thief. NOW I WAIT.

The following is what Hilary at the Exotic Stones LLC kiosk in Delray Beach, Florida was thinking about:

• In front of a Kay Jewelers is a pretty dumb place to have an exotic stones kiosk, if you ask me.

• I'll always regret stabbing my junior prom date. Poor Thad... Chad?

• I bet there's enough storage room under here to take a long nap in.

 The following is what Takeo at the Must Relax Massage kiosk in Martinsburg, West Virginia was thinking about (around 2pm):

• zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

• zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

• Charlotte McKinney

• zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The following is what Evelyn at the PUSSY HO BITCHEZ kiosk in Milford, Delaware was thinking about:

• They should really consider changing the name of this kiosk.

• There really is no need for such a vulgar business name. It's hurting sales.

• I should tell Betty.

 The following is what Takeo at the Must Relax Massage kiosk in Martinsburg, West Virginia was thinking about (around 4:30pm):

• Ah! I am so relaxed and well rested!

• I hope I didn't miss any potential clients during my little nap there, heh heh.

• Charlotte McKinney really does have an amazing rack.

 The following is what Bruce at the Lug Along Luggage kiosk in Danvers, Massachusetts was thinking about:

• This is nice. I get to own my own business and dictate my own hours here.

• The atmosphere is so relaxing, and I get to sit the entire time!

• Which one of these cases had the heroin in it, again? I should make a mental note.

 The following is what Gladys at the Royal Sheets kiosk in Elizabeth, New Jersey was thinking about:

• I can't stop watching "Big Bang Theory," and yet I hate everyone on that show.

• Chicken fried steak. Who the shit invented that? Morons.

• I bet if I bounced my leg enough, I could achieve orgasm right here.

The ProofrEAJDer: November Edition

A New Friend?

Pictured below, some random girl (or bot) tries to make a connection with me via the Facebook Messenger: