Lineup Updates for VidCon 2024

VidCon, the "TED Talk for content creators", is almost here. And a ton of speakers have been added to the roster. Get your tickets soon to see these luminaries live:

• Trad wife / conservative activist Poodle McPickens will berate the crowd for being so diverse.

• Threads "comedian" Gil Sansome will crack wise about Roblox, V-bucks and life in general

• Andrew Tate will try to recruit new cam girls from the audience via his webcam from prison

• There will be a special screening of the historical documentary about the Cinnamon Challenge

• iPhone cinematographer Vazco Meridienne-Clothes will show all the new techniques he uses to film shitty camera angles that nobody will ever use in commercials

UAG

Weird Advert

Spotted online, an ad for home equity loans, featuring a very confusing visual:

I get the "DIP into your equity" connection, but why an avocado? That doesn't seem to be part of the Lending Tree brand (and I understand avocados grow on trees). 

And is that a nacho shaped float in the pool? Why is the chip so much smaller than the avocado? I'm also concerned about that white towel that's about to fall off the side.

Also, as avocados go, that one sucks because look how huge the pit is and how little pulp is left.

Final grade: F

The ProofrEADJer: December Edition

 

Hey, Bladder Medication Users!

Hello there! I just wanted to give a shout out to all bladder medication users. Not that I have anything to sell or promote to them (isn't it nice not to be advertised to for once?). And not that I myself am taking any medication for my bladder. I just wanted to say hello to all of you, a specific group of people for no reason. Wassup?

We actually don't have to talk about your respective bladders. Although I imagine since all of you have that in common, it would make for a pretty lively discussion, amirite? Ha ha. But yeah, sometimes it isn't a laughing matter and some bladder issues are pretty serious. Sometimes fatal. Okay, I'm sorry I brought it up.

So what are we left to talk about if not bladder medications or living with bladder issues? Certainly not politics, jeez. Stay far away from that minefield. 

Okay, good talk, bladder medication peeps. Catch you all on the flip side!

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

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UAG

Fiverr Delivers Again

Thanks to Fiverr seller broadcastking for this exclusive EADJ puppet rap video.

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags: Week of March 30

Shitheels tweet. And even they don't use some of these dumb, underused hashtags. So go ahead and slip these into your own tweets, ya shitheel:

#pubicdreads

#slapchopabortion

#relevantroyalfamilynews

#Iprefertheghostbustersreboot

#throwthatDinthePandcontractVD

#doingthenakedwheelbarrowwithColonelSanders

#IthrewupintoonejarandfilledanotherupwithBrunswickstewbutcan'trememberwhichiswhich

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

Still going strong!

A List Of Subjects That "Club Bangers" Mention In Their Lyrics In Order Of Descending Frequency

 

• Having a good time
• Forgetting about your troubles
• "The club"
• Putting one's hands up
• The dance floor (getting on/evacuating)
• Shaking one's posterior
• The weekend/the fact that it's Friday
• Being inebriated
• Thanking the DJ
• Apathy about tomorrow/the future
• Turning things out
• Bottles
• One's cell phone
• Girls/models at aforementioned club
• Partying all night
• Whether or not the place is "jumping"
• Cheating on your significant other
• Pitbull
• The large amount of money that one has
• The Lost Colony of Roanoke and how 115 settlers disappeared from Roanoke Island in present day North Carolina in 1590, leaving the only clue- the word "CROATOAN" carved on a nearby tree.

Exit Sign Played A Song From His Homeland

Exit Sign played a song from his homeland.


Melting Snow enjoyed it.


And so did Basketball Goal.


Winter Coat Sleeve was, frankly, shocked.


Knife Ad was also mortified.


Fire Department Connection was unmoved.


Neither end of the iPod cord knew what to think.


Two Luggage Wheels heckled from the back.


Brick Entrance was shocked.


Backseat Radio couldn't wait to tell everyone.


Grey Roller kept his mouth shut.


Faucet quacked their disapproval.


Eventually, by the fourth song, Fire Department Connection was moved to tears.