Burning Questions

A banner ad for Endurance car insurance, featuring Ludacris and Danica Patrick:

1) What the hell?

2) Is this a Fast and the Furious movie tie-in?

3) "Ludacris: Artist and Musician". Doesn't his music count as his art? What, does he paint landscapes or weave tapestries too? (Cool, if so)

4) Was the accompanying music to the banner "Move Bitch"?

5) Did Luda not offer a seat to Danica? Is he not a gentleman?

6) Do Danica and Ludacris have a irreconcilable disagreement but begrudging respect for each other and that's why they're standing back-to-back like so many rom-com movie posters?

7) Who drives in that relationship?

8) If car repairs were covered, wouldn't you not be paying for them anyway?

Burning Questions For the Lady in the "Find a Soulmate From Philippines" Banner Ad

1) Are you okay?

2) No, seriously, you look very uncomfortable sitting like that.

3) Does it hurt to sit square on that chair? Do you have hemorrhoids? 

4) Perhaps the chair itself is too hard. Do you need a cushion or one of those inflatable donuts?

5) You seem like you're waiting for someone. Perhaps your proctologist?

6) If you're not waiting for someone else, would it be okay if I took that extra chair? Thanks.

A Rilly Dum Onlyn Ad

From the Book of Dumbass: 24:7

The ProofrEADJer: End of September Edition

This Week in Hip Hop Awfulness

Jerry insisted on wearing a jacket that featured every year that "Full House" was aired.

"Neptune, side pocket."

And I'm pretty sure that corner pocket is occupying the same space as that woman's belly.

Rappers really need a handkerchief when they sneeze.

Unless the Baby Jesus is going to bust out some rhymes, I'm not interested in this album.

♪ Here's the story, of one obscure rapper... ♪

Uh, that's it.

"Ike Turn Up?" Terrible pun. Why not "Ike Turnip?"

Sometimes perfection is instantly recognized.

"Wait. Obamacare is the same thing as the Affordable Care Act?! Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!"

I got both horny and indigestion from seeing this cover.

Bravo for going full Olympics with the theme there. Not sure what the green ring is, though.

Laps laps laps.

Oh no, the poor skull's eyeballs were poked out. Why did the skull have eyeballs in the first place? Ah, who cares. Let's go bowling.

There's a fine line between slightly clever and mindnumbingly dumb. This is the center of that line.

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week Of July 2

The following are hashtags that have been sitting around the garage collecting dust, because no one wants to use them in their (still stupid) Tweets. Feel free to add any of these to your Twitter ramblings:

#nipplehairperm

#lululemonlalaloopsy

#trivago.com

#HDbirthvideo

#malalaisoverrated

#smithsonianpussy

#invitroorgasms

#cathoardermakeovers

#lastnightadjshavedmywife

#rihannaclothed

#barbarabushbeatboxing

A Burning Question Answered

"Will the entries from the EADJ DVD Freestyle segment be recorded in the EADJ Crappinuum, which historically has been reserved for EADJ Crappinema entries?"

"No."

The ProofrEADJer: Mayan End Of The World Edition

The following typos came from the excellent but grossly under-proofread book "The Signal And The Noise: Why So Many Predictions Fail- But Some Don't" by Nate Silver:

Check out this mislabeled graph that tells us nothing:

UAG

UAG

How To Test the Limits of Your Friendships

Pictured below, in the back of any copy of Playbill, an ad for a binder that holds dozens of your old Playbills so you can brag to your friends about how many Broadway shows you've seen:



Here is an imagined reaction of any friend who is given this binder to look through:

"Oh. Neat. 'Hairspray.' You've seen 'Hairspray?' Cool. Do what? It's not on Broadway anymore? That's a shame. Oh, it's only playing in London now? Wow... Oh, so here's a Playbill for 'Jersey Boys.' Yeah, wow. They do a bunch of Frankie Valli songs? That's really something. 'Mamma Mia,' yeah. I've heard about that, and I heard the movie... oh? The show is way better than the movie? Oh, okay. I gotta check that out. Excuse me for one second."

(cocks shotgun, points it at head, pulls the trigger with big toe)

SFVOSP Addendum

After writing an entry whose main thrust was about the SFVOSP's footwear, it seemed a little silly not to include that detail in the drawing. So Andrew drew this:

Something smells moist.

(pictured above, Dean Hacohen once again puzzled by Jessica showing off her ass)