A Copywriter Gets Too Clever For an In-Store Sign at CVS

"Strive to underachieve." Meaning, try to have a cold for less than 7 to 10 days.

So a roundabout way to say take better care of yourself. 

So buying CVS cold relief products will help you "underachieve" compared to duration of the average cold.

WHY AM I SPENDING SO MUCH TIME ON THIS SIGN THAT NOBODY READS?

Fringe Backdrop

This segment is so stupid.

UAG

UAG

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of November 22

People tweet all sorts of stupid shit. But even they have standards.
Here are the hashtags that even the dumbest, least thoughtful tweeters didn't use recently:

#rape:)

#ISIShealthbenefits

#billymaysdeathconspiracy

#teletubbydick

#budlightlimearitaBrofest

#goddamnthisvasectomy

#gwynethpaltrowwisdom

#fuckingaswisscheese'sholes

#bingewatchingsmallwonderonnetflix

#applyingpalmbuttertohercankles

#kneedeepinElderScrollspussy

#no"ElderScrolls"isn'tmymother'sname

#airhockeytragedies

#jaredfogeleroticfanfiction

Good God. I truly apologize for that last one.

Yea, Though I Walk Through The Shadow of Pathmark

Some Words and Phrases That Have Yet To Find Their Way Into A Jason Mraz Song

• cunt
• botched surgery
• strangulation
• anabolic
• eye-popping flavor
• stirrups
• garrotting
• Obamacare
• seminal vesicles
• grassy knoll
• sideboob
• Søren Aabye Kierkegaard
• body doubles
• frottage
• the ability of the Afghans to self govern
• Mushmouth from Fat Albert
• grenadine
• "controlling one's woman"
• plugin folders
• Dustin Diamond doing the Dirty Sanchez
• eye boogers
• target demographics
• convenience store sushi
• Injuns
• getting paid and it's the weekend coming and it's time to forget about the bad times
• Dusty Baker
• queefs
• mustard gas
• losing one's boner
• "Two Broke Girls"
• pissing matches
• matching pisses
• bacterial infections
• the nonexistence of God in a technological society
• Wisk detergent
• booty claps
• Kim Jong Un's fascination with the NBA