An Imagined Conversation

"Okay, Crusader crew! Good work getting us through tech rehearsal today! We've blocked everything out, made proper adjustments to costume and backdrops, and have printed all the programs and tickets. Looks like we're ready to rock a Sunday premiere! Does anyone have any questions before we wrap it up for the night?"

*raises hand*

"Yes? Vance?"

"Don, is it a good idea to do this in the middle of a WORLDWIDE PANDEMIC?"

"Is what a good idea?"

"Is putting on a big expensive production with dozens of cast members and crew in a theatre full of hundreds of people a good idea in the middle of the Covid shutdown?"

"Well, we did budget for it last year."

"Yeah, but we didn't anticipate a full shutdown of society to prevent the spread of a deadly, untreatable disease whose method of transmission we don't even fully understand yet."

"Like I said, we did budget for it last year."

Marketers Still Want You To Say Goodbye To A Bunch Of Dumb Stuff. Here's the Latest

*KISS*! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!

Reasons Why Annie + Jackson Won't Last

Spotted in Staples, a mockup of a Save the Date, featuring an Annie + Jackson:

1) They're having the wedding (November 25) on a Thanksgiving weekend?! That's either on purpose because they're so unsure about the wedding that they don't want their relatives and friends to actually attend, or they're so dumbly infatuated with each other that they haven't properly thought things through.

2) It's a sweet pose, but the fact that Jackson has his back to her and doesn't make eye contact speaks volumes about their actual chemistry.

3) Not to perpetuate the diamond industrial complex, but I don't see a ring on that hand. Not even a simple band. Bad start, Jackson!

4) Both of their hairstyles are so damned trendy, it wouldn't be a surprise if their relationship were as superficial and fleeting. Truth hurts, folks.

5) They went to STAPLES for invitations? Pair of broke-ass kids are gonna fight over money within the first year and get divorced- mark my words.

The ProofrEADJer

Our schools are failing!








Sometimes I do wonder whay is sexual harassment.

Committed To Her Art

Spotted in Brazil, a samba singer really gets into the music. Swept away, really.

A Challenge Arises.

In response to a recent EADJ entry about a cart that sells bagels stored on a cock-level shelf, a snarky blog reader has challenged this reporter to actually order a bagel (specifically a cock-level one) from said cart. I reluctantly accept.

Tune in next week for a review and write-up of this high-carb waste of time.

So Many Questions.

1) Does my Dad read any of his caps before leaving the house?

2) If he does, is Dad a fan of Hootie & The Blowfish?

3) Which does he like better, "Let Her Cry" or "I Only Wanna Be With You?"

4) Did Hootie & The Blowfish really come out 10 years ago?

5) Hootie & The Blowfish are still together?

6) Where in the hell were they giving out free Hootie & The Blowfish schwag?

7) Or more disturbingly, where did Dad buy Hootie & The Blowfish merch?

8) If my Dad had met Darius Rucker, did he call him Darius or Hootie?

9) If Darius Rucker had met my Dad, did he call him "Cesar" or "Dr. Estoye," or "dude?"

10) Is that a hockey stick?

11) Did my Dad get carded at the entrance to the 9:30 Club in downtown D.C.?



***UPDATE*** After a quick Google search, a special Hootie and the Blowfish 10th Anniversary event was found here. My Dad has mentioned volunteering for golf outings before, and he does indeed frequent Myrtle Beach.

Mystery solved!

(So that's not a hockey stick.)

EADJ: And the Meat Goes On

To those of you who are wondering why we don't post photos of Joel actually eating dick:

Dear people who are wondering why we don't post photos of Joel actually eating dick. There are legal issues involved in posting such photos on blogspot.com. We have been asked to respect both Joel's privacy and that of whoever owns all those dicks. Plus, our dick scanner broke.

(pictured above, Joe Baran reminisces of when Bill Dow and Joel shared a drink and he was nowhere around)