Zack Snyder Adapts Various Stories From Highlights Magazine's "6 by Six" Hidden Pictures Section

Director Zack Snyder has been known to make gritty, dark adaptations of beloved comic properties, and why should Highlights be any different? Here are the latest projects of his in development:

"A Short Lunch"

Greg Panda and his son enjoy some bamboo-dogs in the park before murdering a panhandler who gets too aggressive.

"Back 8"

Daisy Mouse and her college boyfriend Trent play a game of miniature golf before realizing the golf ball was their dean's eyeball, yanked from his dead skull by some violent meth addicts.

"Today We Build"

Sal Sparrow and his crew complete a bird housing development, only to discover they had angered the spirits of the indigenous population that was displaced. They each die a horrible death.

"Uncle & Me On The Sea"

Scott Snail and his Uncle Stu charter a boat miles off shore until Stu reveals Scott's father robbed him of all his life savings in a gambling scheme. The water is saltwater, which is deadly for snails, and Stu pushes Scott right in as revenge.

"Catch Pups"

Donnie Dog and Terri Terrier play unnecessarily lingering, slow motion catch with a frisbee. The movie is 3 hours long.

"Away We Go"

Two unnamed elephants die from oxygen deprivation when their hot air balloon drifts too high in the mountains. Badass techno soundtrack.

ROBIN MEADE UPDATE: HOW PATHS HAVE CROSSED

I went to high school in North Carolina with this good ol' boy named Ray Scott, who now has a successful country music singing career. Great guy.

Ray and I are friends on Facebook, and recently he posted a photo of him canoodling with the much-documented EADJ subject ROBIN MEADE! Here Robin is with Ray and his wife:

Isn't that cool? Except for the two fat bearded freaks photobombing over Ray's shoulders?

Here's a link to his hit single "Drinkin' Beer" on iTunes. It is much better than anything Robin Meade caterwauled out.

EADJ Entertainment News Exclusive: Robin Thicke

It's probably no secret now that R&B singer Robin Thicke has parted ways with his wife Paula Patton and has VERY PUBLICLY apologized to her in the form of a concept album entitled "Paula."

With his head bowed in penance on the album cover, and with song titles like "Get Her Back," "Still Madly Crazy," "Love Can Grow Back," and "Jesus Christ, Woman, How Many Times (Do I Have To Apologize)?" Robin Thicke bares his soul and actually gets some pretty good material out of his situation.

One can only wonder what kind of material Thicke would have worked with if they hadn't split…

Here's the latest song off the album, "Get Her Back:"

I Just Don't Understand

Pictured below, the actual cover for the DVD movie "Making The Rules," starring Robin Thicke and Jaime Pressly.

This raises oh so many questions, but here goes:

1) Robin Thicke wants to act now?

2) Why did they use a cheap nighttime TMZ shot of Robin Thicke instead of a still from the movie?

3) Can Jaime Pressly sing?

4) Do the two of them sing some sort of duet in this?

5) Was it necessary to crop the top of both of their hair poofs?

6) What the Sam Shit does that tagline "Sometimes life takes an unexpected turn" mean?

7) Does Robin Thicke live in the city, while Jaime Pressly live in the beach, and this is a "Sleepless In Seattle" type dealie? Does she end up moving to the city for him, or does he end up moving to the beach for her?

8) Why is Jaime Pressly dressed up for dinner in the middle of the day?

9) Why is Jaime Pressly's name so far in on the right margin, compared to Robin Thicke's on the left?

10) Why, in spite of all this awfulness, do I still want to see this movie?

Fun Daily Robin Meade Fact

Robin Meade was actually interviewed by Penthouse Magazine in December 2011 about her anchoring career on Headline News and her (then) new country album in an article named "Morning Glory."

Read that shit here.

Spotted In Newark Airport

Robin Meade continues to hawk her country CD, trying desperately to leave her shitty desk job for a life on tour.

Give it a rest, Robin. You're never going to go platinum, or even gold. Hey, you might go wood.

You can purchase Robin's CD here.

Our Star-Studded Review Of Robin Meade's Sophomore CD "Count On Me"

Stop emailing and IMing us reminders about it. Stop with the harassing reminder notes on our desk. Stop with the texts asking us to review Robin's Meade's second CD. And for God's sake, stop tweeting with the hashtag #EADJRobinCDreviewPlease. 

We have finally gotten around to listening to this thing a mere three months after having discovered it on a rack in Target. Robin pulled out all the stops this time, collaborating with the likes of Keb' Mo', Kenny Loggins and Gary Burr to build her country music cred.

Here now is the track-by-track review of the CNN Headline News host's latest foray into karaoke music, which this time we listened to on a Sony DEG3 Psyc Style Discman from 1999 in select locations.

Track 1: "Here For You" (featuring Blue Sky Riders- Kenny Loggins, Georgia Middleman & Gary Burr)

Listened to at "The Art of The Brick" exhibit at the Discovery Times Square Museum

Robin begins this song with the lyrics "my door is here to be knocked on/ my porch is here to be rocked on" and it doesn't get any non-cornier or unintentionally sexual from there. The general takeaway from this song is Robin's message that she "will be here for you," meaning if you're ever feeling lonely, sad, or without hope, just turn to "Morning Express With Robin Meade" on the Headline News Channel from Monday to Friday 6am to noon ET, and Robin will have your back between commercial breaks.

Track rating: D

Track 2: "Gonna Be Days"
Listened to at Penn Station KFC

Before even listening to this song in that crowded, reeking KFC, I guessed that the main message of this song, based on the title, was something like "you're going to face adversity from time to time, but everything is gonna be okay." Was I wrong? Yes. It's a song about couples fighting. Robin sings "You can be cold/ and I can be stubborn/ but you know me better than any other lover/ you leave a mess and a sink full of dishes/ but I can't be mad when we dance 'round the kitchen." Imagine this (with that godawful dishes/kitchen rhyme) accompanied by steel guitar and fiddle and you've got yourself "Gonna Be Days," Robin's tribute to imperfect domestic bliss.

Track rating: C

Track 3: "True Colors"

Listened to at Dunkin Donuts somewhere in New Jersey

Yes, this is the 1986 Cyndi Lauper song, already covered by Phil Collins, Karyn White, Faith Evans, David Archuleta, JC Chasez, Ane Brun, Aztec Camera and All Time Low. Does Robin put a new, unique spin on this covered favorite? Nope! Robin's nasal passages were obviously cleared out completely beforehand so that she could deliver Cyndi's melody 100% straight through her nose. 

Track rating: F

Track 4: "Better Than Me"

Listened to on the NYC "S" Train from Grand Central Terminal to Times Square

Gentle guitar strumming intros this song, and here are some of the lyrics:

this is what I'm going to work on

this is what I'm going to try

to take my faults and all my flaws

and fight to make them right

it's a lifelong competition

it's a struggle that never ends

but I've gotta believe that one day that I could be... better than me.

Fuckin' humility and looking to personal growth, man. That is the fucking SHIT. The fact that I spotted IRON MAN TONY STARK was an added bonus.

Track rating: A+

Track 5: "Slow It Up (featuring Keb' Mo')"

Listened to in Times Square, NYC

I just happened to listen to this breezy, jazzy number in the dead center of the busiest part of the busiest city in the world, but it worked. Robin and Keb' Mo's voices complement each other nicely, and the tempo is lively without being aggro (thus the title, duh).

slow it up

wind it down

let's go where there's no other soul around

take our time / take it in

what's the rush

slow it up

Nice sentiment, but pretty disingenuous coming from the morning host of a fucking 24 hour news network that does the exact opposite of slowing it down and taking it in.

Track rating: F

Track 6: "I Won't Back Down"

Listened to near a group of touring Boy Scouts

Robin takes a crack at this Tom Petty song. She should back down.

Track rating: F

Track 7: "Your Glory Days"

Listened to on the New Jersey Transit Train (Gladstone Line)

Piano intro this time! But I fell asleep before the second verse.

Track rating: F

Track 8: "This Just In"

Listened to at home in Jersey during the Indian neighbors' Jalwa ceremony next door

What is Jalwa, you ask? Well, my friend, it's a Rajasthani traditional ceremony ushering the young man of a family into adulthood. The family priest is invited to the home to perform the ceremony. He recites mantras from the Vedas and gives his blessings to the child. The family deity is also worshipped, and the young man is often named after a god or goddess. The women of the family and the locality assemble, sing songs and offer good wishes to the young man.

With regards to Robin's song "This Just In," it's crap:

this just in / this just in

you're never going to have to be alone again

if love is a game, then baby you win

this just in / this just in

here's the headline / here's the news (GET IT?!)

love shows up when it wants to

you make your plans, then out of the blue

boy meets girl and her dream comes true

Track rating: F

Track 9: "Get Up"

Listened to in the middle of a NJ softball diamond

I was actually surprised with the instrumentational choices with this one: bloodcurdling screams over the sound of someone defecating into a washtub. With banjo music and the following lyrics:

get up

it ain't hard as it sounds

get up

we only get one go around

get up

This is another one of those "GET IT?!" tracks. Robin's on a morning show, so "get up," see?

Track rating: F-

Track 10: "The Dance"

Listened to in the middle of a football stadium in Vancouver, BC

The opening piano chords of this song sort of resemble "Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)" by Phil Collins. Then Robin starts singing and I get all depressed about how lucky the deaf are.

holding you

I have everything

for the moment

wasn't I the queen

but if I had only known

how the queen would fall

hey, who's to say

you know I know I might have changed it all

my life is better left to chance

I could have missed the pain

but I'd have had to miss

the dance

Track rating: F

Track 11: "There's You"

Listened to in the baggage carousel at Laguardia Airport AND in front of FOX NEWS

There's a reason I listened to this track at two different locations. The first time I listened to it at the baggage claim at LGA, my ears hurt so badly that I missed my suitcase and ended up wearing boxer shorts as outside shorts for a week. The second time I listened to it outside of Fox News channel owner News Corporation to really concentrate on the lyrics and put a possible anti-liberal spin on it.

Hey, wait a minute! Is that Fox News Channel's evening talk show co-host and general shithead Eric Bolling taking a texting break?

Here's why I just referred to him as a shithead:

But again, we're getting away from the music track review. Robin does some earnest attempts at yodeling, drawing out "there's yoooooo-oooou" and it sounds like donkey sex. There's nothing pleasant about this- you can imagine. Even if you love donkey sex. Even if Eric Bolling likes donkey sex, which is not what I'm saying.

Track review: F

Track 12: "I'll Stand By You," a.k.a. "Thank Christ It's Almost Over"

Listened to in a duck pond

Is this Pretenders cover song a life-affirming testament to friendship or a big "fuck you" to the country music recording industry? The fact that Carrie Underwood already successfully recorded this song makes me think the latter.

It sounds like Robin is singing directly to Carrie Underwood, telling her she's going to stand next to her in the hopes of soaking in the spotlight- even for a moment- to prove that she's more than a pretty face on Headline News, and that Nashville and Branson, Missouri can suck her dick if they want to pigeonhole her.

Track rating: F

Overall CD rating: D + C + F + A+ F + F + F + F + F + F + F + F =  F

HOLY SHITFUCKING COCKSUCKERS!!!!

So I was in Target buying feminine hygiene products, when I happened upon a familiar face on the new age CD rack.

Yes, Robin Meade, whose debut CD "Brand New Day" was reviewed right here on this very blog, has a sophomore follow-up album, IN STORES NOW.

So you're damn right I grabbed a copy and took it home. 

Check back later for a fuller review of this serious recording artist's latest.

Here she is wailing on (not whaling on) Piers Morgan:

6 Lies Told By The New York Renaissance Faire Brochure

1) Fantasy already rules. It doesn't need a special designated place.  :)

2) Since 1977? Please. Fully fledged medieval nerdfests were conceived in the 70s but became popular in the early 80s. Don't stretch the truth, Sir Galahad.

3) Tuxedo, NY will have nothing to do with this merry band of mischief makers and fat chicks.

4) T-shirts aren't considered historically accurate. Not the Hypercolor ones, at least.

5) You don't really get to meet Robin Hood. Robin Meade, however, will be on hand for some reason.

6) "We're easy to reach." Right. Type in "Tuxedo, NY" into Google Maps and you'll get directions to The Men's Wearhouse in Staten Island.

What do you think about the new EADJ segment "Six Lies Told?"

We want to hear from you!