And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Clean Your Oven In 8 Simple Steps

Oven cleaning can be a chore. But instead of chemical oven cleaners, here's a more natural, painless way to get the job done:

1) Make sure your oven is switched off and cooled down.

2) Mix your own cleaning solution with baking soda and water.

3) Cover the oven in the cleaning paste.

4) Let it sit overnight.

5) Wipe down the oven. 

6) Spray it with vinegar.

7) Wipe down the oven one last time.

8) Replace the oven racks.

And speaking of racks, I have never needed luggage racks on top of my limo because the trunk space is huge. But this one time I picked up a big family at the airport, and they brought THIRTY EIGHT pieces of luggage and didn't want any in their seating area. I ended up filling my passenger seat so high I could barely see the rear view mirror!

Stay safe, kids!

Smoothie Carton Was Happy.

Smoothie Carton was happy.

Stormtrooper Sneaker was happy for him.

Building Coupling was puzzled.

Beer Cooler wept bitter tears.

ATM was feeling randy.

Truck Refrigerator was less than thrilled.

Doohickeys On A Truck Bed were silently appalled.

Oven Shelving enjoyed some cookies.

Park Bench Claptrap sat in the wet.

Ethernet Wall Plug frowned on it all.

Today We Heckle The Oriental Trading Holiday Catalog

If you ever go to one of those arcades where you pump in countless quarters and end up with a handful of tickets that you can use to purchase useless plastic toy crap? Well, Oriental Trading is where they get that useless plastic toy crap. The holiday catalog has added sections of crap costumes, crap decorations and crap crap.

In a room full of people with ugly sweaters, you can finally stand out from the crowd with the Ugly Sweater Party Sombero. Does it make any sense? No, but look, everyone's looking at you now, puto!

This is a demeaning Nativity costume if there ever was one. I'd rather dress up as a manger turd.

Oh good, you can now get dressed as either Mrs. Claus or Santa's mistress.

Santa A, knowing he was just "good," apparently got belligerently shitfaced before the shoot.

Sadistic hunters string deer up like this before they gut them from crotch to throat.

This stress toy is a friendly reminder that Jesus guides you and also prevents you from murdering everyone at work.

The EADJ Winter Fashion Round-Up

Not sure if that's a really long sweater or a man-dress with jeans underneath. The craftsmanship is amazing.

Nothing like some old school North Face down-jacket-action to mess up a Uniqlo hipster-down-jacket vibe.

Fur goes with almost everything. Except jeans that are patterned like pizza barf.

CHECKS! STRIPES! PLAID! LEOPARD! FISHNET!

MY EYES! MY EYES! SO MANY PATTERNS!

Gordy got dressed in all professional wear except for the sweatpants. 75% is still passing, you know. 

Lugging Support

Pictured below, a sure sign of waning support for the conflict in Iraq: suburban women at malls are no longer willing to pay a premium for designer luggage that inexplicably emulates the military's 'digital camouflage' pattern.

And What You Joel Is What You Dick

Luggage!

Joel went luggage shopping today at TravelPro in Santa Monica, hoping to find a light roller for his weekend dick-eating jaunts up the PCH.

He liked a blue medium upright, but the pockets were too shallow, and the wheels, although they did swivel in all directions, didn't have a brake mechanism (This second feature is important to Joel when he eats dick while waiting at a cab stand).

A silver hardside roller caught his eye, but the awkward handle and the $300 price tag weren't to his liking. Also, the compartments were too small to carry all his dick-eating paraphernalia and equipment.

Joel finally settled on a beige Walkabout Lite. It had a nice garment-hanging handle, two deep pockets for both weed and dick, and the expandable front flap sealed the deal. Joel could barely contain his erection as he skipped with the roller to his convertible Rabbit. His chimp servant seemed to enjoy the ride as well. On his erection.

(pictured above, Ranee Wu gets paid by pirating some holistic medicine booklet horseshit )

**SUZEMILY THEATRE UPDATE** Thanks to the persistent urgings of fans like Phil Flicklicker, both charter members of the Suzemily Theatre Players have agreed to return to the stage on Friday. The duo were seen rehearsing a scene from Grey's Anatomy earlier Wednesday by the Foursquare Court in the Creative Department Annex. Ticketmaster will open the box office at 7am tomorrow. Tickets start at $8 plus an $89 convenience charge.