Oh, This Is Gonna Be Bad. The Lonnie Quinndex Returns

EADJ continues its coverage of CBS 2's Lonnie Quinn's coverage of this winter's awful weather. For the uninitiated, the Lonnie Quinndex gauges the shirtsleeves of CBS 2 meteorologist Lonnie Quinn, since the degree to which they are rolled up on his arms is DIRECTLY related to how severe the weather is that he's forecasting.

This time, right off the bat, Lonnie Quinn's shirtsleeves are ALREADY above the elbow, meaning the entire Northeast is majorly fucked in the weather department.

Fucked.

Fucked.

Fucked.

10"-16"

Fucked.

Announcing: EADJ's Mission To Spot All Of The Avengers On The Subway

Iron Man. Thor. Black Widow. Captain America. The Hulk. And Hawkeye.
You'd think none of them would take the subway. Especially after having wrecked the shit out of Manhattan in that last movie.

But that hasn't stopped us from keeping an eye out for them on the New York Subway system, and recently we've been lucky enough to have already spotted a couple of "Earth's Mightiest Heroes."


IRON MAN

 

His name is synonymous with mechanical genius. If anyone could invent a power source to both fuel a battle exo-suit and a special electromagnet to keep shrapnel out of one's heart, it's Tony Stark.

 

Here Tony takes the 7 shuttle from the Stark Tower to Times Square to possibly have cocktails with some sexy supermodels before coming home to Pepper. You'll notice part of the Mark 42 armor on his right knee. He was apparently waiting for the other pieces to fly to him. Note: depression is often a side effect of extreme alcoholism.

HAWKEYE

Hawkeye is considered one of the more talented archers in the Avengers, if not the best. And although he lacks superpowers, he is at the very peak of human conditioning. Hawkeye (real name Clint Barton) is an exceptional fencer, acrobat and a grandmaster marksman, having been trained from childhood in the circus and by the criminals Trick Shot and Swordsman.

 

Here Clint is catching up on some emails. Note the Apple computer, his sly nod to William Tell.

 

So that's two down, four more to go. We feel like Nick Fury rounding 'em all up!

Stay tuned, true believers, as we continue to search for all The Avengers on the New York transit line!

Dress Barned

You can always tell if a smile is genuine because the areas under eyes also move up, as demonstrated by this anonymous, unknown actress:

 

Knowing this, you can see how pretty much every model on Dress Barn store displays are not really smiling.

 

Dead, unsmiling eyes.

 

Maybe they're not smiling because they know something we don't.  

 

Like maybe they know that the store is going to close in two months.

: )

She Will?!

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Shém On You, Hermés!

Spotted in Beverly Hills (don't ask), in front of the Hermés Store (again, don't ask):


A luxury brand reveals its ties to Nazism:




For shame, Hermés! I shall never again spend $4000 on your Black Vache Liegee Leather Paris Bombay Bag! You Nazi fuckers!

Bonus: That there is Kyle S. checking his email in front of the store like it ain't no thang.

My new favorite supermarket.

To those of you not from New York (and how I pity you if you aren't!), there is a chain of supermarkets called Pathmark which, I gotta tell you, is the biggity BOMB, y'all.


Just one glance at the outside gives passers-by a hint of the delightful selections they vend within. Let's look inside! And while we're in there, let's play "What Doesn't Belong In This Picture?"

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(Answers will be revealed next week. The highest scorer wins a jar-full of googly eyes and a signed copy of The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne)