And Again More Puddles of New York City, Identified By Pantone Number

The streets of New York City brim with life, flavor and a strange, frothy brown substance that shies away from light. Here now are the latest discovered mystery puddles found in the great city and their accompanying Pantone colors:

The ProofrEADJer

The Eat A Dick Joel ProofrEADJer documents the latest syntactic bloopers and makes light of our increasingly failing educational system. Wakka wakka.


Spotted in the Toucan Cleric's Fun men's bathroom. I'm surprised the janitor didn't add a couple of umlauts.


Somebody simply cannot spell 'calendar.' Three strikes and you're aut.

The following entries were submitted by JOEL HIMSELF who has been eating dick in KOREA:




Submit your own misspellings, incorrect verb tenses or improper use of quotations to:

The EADJ ProofrEADJer
297 Hogsnuts Avenue
Suite 3
Birdman, PA 56632

Dumb YouTube Comment O' The Fortnight!

From "The Onion Movie" page, with a video of two kids cutting and examining onions and other vegetables, a comment from "thestave500:"

"um... you guys are fags... that was really gay, just like all your videos... i wish you would die... in a very horrible way... and put it on YouTube... so i could watch you die... and laugh... because that is the only funny thing you could do.... die... fuckin losers....i hate you..."

On his About page, "thestave500" writes the following about himself:

Interests and Hobbies: I like to set things on fire, skateboared, playguitar, snow board, and hang out with my friends...

Somehow I doubt he's really 27. Unless he's 27 and really dumb.

Awwwwww!

(pictured above, Mel and Jessica pay IM status homage to one another. It's like a digital hug!)

*** UPDATE: Mel has informed us that despite the big ol' lovefest, Jessica still can't spell "Kreilein" right.

Found Item!

This business card on the Atlantic / Pacific platform in the subway:


You know, minor spelling error aside, I can respect the dude whose every skill listed on his business card is an attempt to get laid. Cheers, Andre!

So much to enjoy here.

I found this document among some old papers when packing for New York. It's some sort of press release I was given at a Kinko's in San Francisco. And it's real– I remember talking to the guy at the Kinko's.

Click on the picture to read the whole thing before continuing onto our comments. It's definitely worth it.


Okay, finished? Good. To tackle comments on this bad boy, we're going to have to break it down into categories. Here goes:


HORRIFIC SPELLING



First of all, being a fashion designer in California and misspelling FRED SEGAL is inexcusable. Then misspelling important clients' names like Sheila E., Shari Belafonte, Arsenio Hall, Oaktown's 357, Ace Deuce, and Rappin' 4-Tay is pretty awful, too. This press release was written in November 2001, and I'm pretty sure the Internet was around then, so one could have checked. I lay most of the blame on "Cola," who apparently edited this thing. But how shitty an editor do you have to be to misspell Duvall's own name THREE TIMES in the copy? Wait a minute. Maybe Duvall's name is really spelled "Duval," and Cola misspelled it five times. No, let's just give Cola the benefit of the doubt here.



MC HAMMER'S "DIPPER" PANTS



I guess in the back of my mind at one time in 1990 I did wonder who the hell came up with those enormous pants. Who knew that 11 years later I would come face to face with the guy who puts it as #1 in his portfolio? "World-shattering," indeed. I imagine that Spike DDB got Duvall's help in recreating the Dipper pants for this Superbowl Lay's Potato Chips commercial in 2005:



PUNANY POETS

Okay, for once Cola didn't completely screw up a client's name (except for the word 'troupe'). And a quick Google check verified that the Punany Poets are indeed still in business! It's unknown whether they still sport Duvall's provocative fashions during their performances, however. The Poon Tang Minstrels and The Gaping Vajhole Storytellers couldn't be reached for comment.
Punany Poets Online
Punany Poets on myspace

THE ALBUM COVER


I gotta admit, the "Dipper" pants were pretty ridiculous, but for some reason the outfits that blaxploitation legend Max Julien and Rappin' 4-Tay are wearing are pretty sweet. Maybe it's the fact that it's all white. Or that the jackets drape over the jodhpur-like thighs. And the name "Alpha-male" is a delightful euphemism for pimp. Sweet.

A pretty exhaustive Google and Hotbot search for "Duvall," "MC Hammer" and even "Dipper pants" turned up nothing. Duvall's obscurity may be attributed to his now-outdated designs, but I believe his fame was ultimately screwed from the get-go by poorly edited press releases. Nice going, Cola.


**** LIKE, MAJOR MAJOR UPDATE!!!!!! ****
Andrew Gall found a designer named Duvall on myspace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously. I think this earns Andrew Gall EADJ's first ever Adamantium Mollusk Award.

Link

There's a 99.9999% chance that this is him. Jeez, look at all the powerful friends he has– the Obamas, the Cosbys, Rev. Jesse Jackson, Mayor Daley...it looks like Cola was a nonfactor after all! TUUUUUUU!

Let's Pretend To Kiss the Outside of the EADJ Mail Sack Even Though It Smells Tangy!

Below, a submission from Bill Dow at the EADJ office in San Fran. Note Bill's creepy reflection.