Some Surprises From Adele's New Album, "25"

Adele's long-awaited album hits stores today, right when you just got "Rolling In The Deep" out of your head.

Here are a few surprises upon first listen:

• Track 1 "Choices" samples Li'l Wayne clearing his throat and making armpit farts.

• Liner notes credit deceased Cambodian revolutionary Pol Pot for most of the mixing and production.

• Track 3 "Blame Me" is a tribute to Jennifer Lawrence's butler.

• Track 5-8 is just an old Meineke radio commercial on a loop.

• If you play the album backwards, Adele will appear at your house and organize your bills.

• Adele has a hidden track located exactly 18 minutes after the last track of The Flaming Lips' 2013 album "The Terror."

• Most of the album's subject matter reflects Adele's major issues as a 25 year old, like lost love, still getting carded at bars, and not saving your money for retirement.

New Corporate ID Makeovers For 2015

With a new year comes new corporate rebranding efforts and identity updates. Here now are the most recent ID changes within the Fortune 500:

CosbyCo is now Roof-E Enterprises.

DC Comics is now Marvel 2 (or Marvel, Too!)

Ticketmaster had a simple name and logo update.

UPS also had a simple name and logo update.

And E! Channel decided to get honest.

EADJ Is Brought To You This Week By Springer Dog Exerciser

Do you and your dog love the outdoors? Does one of you like to get exercise? Then gear up with the Springer Dog Exerciser, a revolutionary new way to take your dog for a walk without getting off your fat ass! Ride around the park while your dog struggles to keep up! Coast through busy streets while your dog tromps his way over potholes and sleeping hobos just to stop from getting strangled!

But don't take our word for it. Here's Internationally Known Dog Fighter Doctor Yuri Dotretskov: 

"Put spring on bike. Spring hold leash. Dog forced to follow bike."

And just listen to what some of our customers have to say:

"They say that eating right and getting exercise is the best way to a long, healthy life. For dogs. I'll have a Quarter Pounder with Cheese large combo. With a Diet Coke. Is the sundae machine working?" -Amber, 29 on the phone

"I hate exercise almost as much as I hate my dog. Thanks, Springer Dog Exerciser!" -Pete, 28

"Hurry the fuck up, Lola! We have to get home to catch the 'Dancing With The Stars' recap show!"  -Margaret, 38

Springer Dog Exerciser. Now You Got The Hook Up™!

The EADJ Crappinema Presents Vipers, starring Tara Reid

As ordered by the Court in April 2008, the County of Los Angeles mandated that Tara Reid star in the movie "Vipers" to fulfill her 120 hours of community service. Once the film had been completed, Tara was to deliver the film to her probation officer and serve the rest of her sentence at its premiere and DVD release party.

Overall grade: F