Synopses For Upcoming Episodes of Netflix's "Charlie's Colorforms City"

"Impasse"

Charlie's fake elector scheme falls apart. The Tan Council approves the demolition of the Pink Projects. The Colorforms crime rate skyrockets when the Purple Police go on strike.

"Decisions"

The Colorforms City power grid is compromised by Monochrome Terrorists. New districts are gerrymandered so that the Yellow Party stays in power. Charlie cuts off his deadbeat brother.

"Shit You Not"

Orange and Red neighbors realize they're not so different after all, but the Oranges will never forgive Reds for the damage to their property. Charlie meets with some Saudi investors to finance the Colorforms light rail. A Green sweatshop goes up in flames at the same time a nearby luxury apartment complex is announced.

Fringe Backdrop

The ProofrEADJer: July Edition

And this pretty one I found by the side of the road, which I promptly stole and recycled. Go green!

And Again More Puddles of New York City, Identified By Pantone Number

The streets of New York City brim with life, flavor and a strange, frothy brown substance that shies away from light. Here now are the latest discovered mystery puddles found in the great city and their accompanying Pantone colors:

Josephine's Amazing Technicolor Dreambush

(pictured above, the most disturbing combination is "covering gray" with the magenta "fun" option)

Don Quixote of the Rumor Mills

Okay, we at EADJ have had enough of the unfair rumors surrounding our hero, Joel. A little misinformation here or there is permissible, but the following rumors must come to an end NOW:

• The rumor that Joel did not eat any dick after a movie on Wednesday, January 3 and went straight home. The truth is, he ate dick, but he snuck it into the theatre.

• The rumor that Joel has eleven toes. In all of Joel's "I Eat Dick" advertisements around the city, he appears to have the regular ten toes. Producers of the ads have sworn that they have not retouched any extra toes out.

• The rumor that Joel prefers the occasional McRib to dick. While the McRib is a tasty boneless pork and barbecue sauce sandwich with a bun, onions and pickles and is available only on a temporary basis, Joel's first love is definitely dick.

• The persistent rumor that Joel is writing one episodes for the MyNetworkTV daytime drama "Wicked Wicked Games." It has already been established here many times that Joel, while an avid fan of the show, has never been called to put words in Tatum O'Neal's mouth. Instead, Joel has devoted most of his time putting dick in HIS mouth.

• The rumor that there is a shorter, fatter version of Scott Peterson roaming the hallways of 225 North Michigan. This rumor is actually true. Because I've seen him a few times at the elevators. And I almost said hey to him.

So we at EADJ beseech the media, the grassroots supporters and the pundits to put an end to these vicious rumors. Except for that last one, which is totally true about the shorter, fatter version of Scott Peterson. Seriously.

(pictured above, a scene from the new Hilary Swank movie "Freedom Writers.")