You know you're really living when you're getting a parking lot blowjob from a Hawaiian Tropic cardboard standee.
A popular way to prepare broiled emcees is to boil them still in their askew baseball hats, allowing your guests de-hat them for themselves!
I can't tell if Ces Cru is stripping this girl of her ego or if she is a stripper with a huge ego already. NEEDS MORE INFORMATION.
"Theart Breaker?" I just s❤'d in my pants.
"Okay, guys. Very funny. Joke's over. Now where are you, where's my wallet, and how did we all end up in Prague?"
Really lazy mix tape designers sometimes just visualize a wishlist of stuff they want. Kind of like the old shopping segment in "Wheel Of Fortune" reruns.
Khaled didn't get that super-soldier body naturally. A secret government agency altered him with Ho-Hos and years of neglect.
"EVERYBODY DUCK, THE AIR SHOW'S IN TOWN!!!!!"
Meanwhile in China, they're cranking out cheap knockoffs of this mixtape. Hurr hurrrr.
Dear, Jesus. Thank you for not using the classic "see and say" here.
It's not really considered cool to use a colored-in kid's placemat from $hmopcity Pizza Parlor for your mixtape cover without prior approval from $hmopcity Pizza Parlor.
I found this document among some old papers when packing for New York. It's some sort of press release I was given at a Kinko's in San Francisco. And it's real– I remember talking to the guy at the Kinko's.
Click on the picture to read the whole thing before continuing onto our comments. It's definitely worth it.
Okay, finished? Good. To tackle comments on this bad boy, we're going to have to break it down into categories. Here goes:
HORRIFIC SPELLING
First of all, being a fashion designer in California and misspelling FRED SEGAL is inexcusable. Then misspelling important clients' names like Sheila E., Shari Belafonte, Arsenio Hall, Oaktown's 357, Ace Deuce, and Rappin' 4-Tay is pretty awful, too. This press release was written in November 2001, and I'm pretty sure the Internet was around then, so one could have checked. I lay most of the blame on "Cola," who apparently edited this thing. But how shitty an editor do you have to be to misspell Duvall's own name THREE TIMES in the copy? Wait a minute. Maybe Duvall's name is really spelled "Duval," and Cola misspelled it five times. No, let's just give Cola the benefit of the doubt here.
MC HAMMER'S "DIPPER" PANTS
I guess in the back of my mind at one time in 1990 I did wonder who the hell came up with those enormous pants. Who knew that 11 years later I would come face to face with the guy who puts it as #1 in his portfolio? "World-shattering," indeed. I imagine that Spike DDB got Duvall's help in recreating the Dipper pants for this Superbowl Lay's Potato Chips commercial in 2005:
PUNANY POETS
Okay, for once Cola didn't completely screw up a client's name (except for the word 'troupe'). And a quick Google check verified that the Punany Poets are indeed still in business! It's unknown whether they still sport Duvall's provocative fashions during their performances, however. The Poon Tang Minstrels and The Gaping Vajhole Storytellers couldn't be reached for comment. Punany Poets Online Punany Poets on myspace
THE ALBUM COVER
I gotta admit, the "Dipper" pants were pretty ridiculous, but for some reason the outfits that blaxploitation legend Max Julien and Rappin' 4-Tay are wearing are pretty sweet. Maybe it's the fact that it's all white. Or that the jackets drape over the jodhpur-like thighs. And the name "Alpha-male" is a delightful euphemism for pimp. Sweet.
A pretty exhaustive Google and Hotbot search for "Duvall," "MC Hammer" and even "Dipper pants" turned up nothing. Duvall's obscurity may be attributed to his now-outdated designs, but I believe his fame was ultimately screwed from the get-go by poorly edited press releases. Nice going, Cola.
**** LIKE, MAJOR MAJOR UPDATE!!!!!! **** Andrew Gall found a designer named Duvall on myspace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously. I think this earns Andrew Gall EADJ's first ever Adamantium Mollusk Award.
There's a 99.9999% chance that this is him. Jeez, look at all the powerful friends he has– the Obamas, the Cosbys, Rev. Jesse Jackson, Mayor Daley...it looks like Cola was a nonfactor after all! TUUUUUUU!
