The Drake/Kendrick Rap Beef Explained— Sponsored by Utz

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This Week In Chicago Whatever

 The following are episode synopses for this week:

Chicago P.D.

Forensic analyst Barrows loses his favorite pen in one of the bodies. Hockney comes back from City Hall to gloat about how easy the job of bailiff is. Chief Wilson is outraged that someone booted his car as a prank.

Chicago Med

Chief Surgeon Manacle explains his fear of ferrets. Manuel and Diandra do it in the supply closet, contaminating all of the latex gloves. A patient explodes into millions of spiders.

Chicago Fire

Everyone goes to Mr. Beef for lunch and has a great time. (special 2 hour episode)

25 Days of Hallmark Movies: Day 13: "A Rose For Christmas" Starring Rachel Boston and Marc Bendavid

Plot Summary: "Andy is a passionate artist whose family has been building Rose Parade floats for generations. When her Dad gets sick, Andy is forced to take the helm and supervise the construction and decoration of their client's float. And to make matters worse, she's saddled with the extra challenge of dealing with demanding businessman Cliff, whose company commissioned the float."

Let's just say off the bat that the title is a lie. The Rose Parade / Tournament of Roses occurs on January 1, so it's a New Year's movie, not a Christmas one. So strike one there.

We're now 11 for 13:

Romance Factor: 7 out of 10

Christmas Cheer: 0 out of 10

Overall Rating: 3.5 out of 10

Time Until First Kiss: 1:14:01

I didn't enjoy this one. And I hated that guy. Fuck that character.

The ProofrEADJer: Wake Me Up When September Ends Edition

Something We Noticed

The difference between a fake smile and a real smile is subtle but noticeable: a person's eyes will often "close up" as the cheeks move upwards.

One thing we notice on the artwork of 100% of the "as seen on TV" merchandise in stores is that the models CLEARLY ARE NOT REALLY HAPPY:

Their mouths are smiling, but their eyes are begging for you to rescue them. 

It's fucking depressing, really.