U.S. Soccer® Scarves⁵?!

Okay, McDonald's. Let's talk about U.S. Soccer® Scarves⁵.

Number one, if this is all part of the World Cup® promotional thing, that shit is over for the U.S., you know. Reminding us of the World Cup® is just painful³.

Number two, the World Cup® is held in Rio De Janeiro in BRAZIL. Who needs friggin' scarves⁵ there?

Number three, why am I slumming in McDonald's® again?

Number four, what is so shitty about the Fan Pack⁶ that it gets listed sixth⁶?

Number five, Double Quarter Pounder™ With Cheese, $2.99 plus tax†

Number six, since when do soccer and scarves go together?

Edit: Well, shit. Apparently it is a thing:

Number seven, the only Americans who wear scarves are Dr. Who and Harry Potter. Wait, what?

Heroes: The Brynn & Joanne Special Edition

Here's footage of Brynn & Joanne playing dolly with some Heroes action figures, which if you ask me, is far superior to the actual series.

*Sigh*

French Hat.

In honor of Brynn being back from vacation, here's a photo of her with a hat floating above her head:

Let's Not Tell the EADJ Mail Sack That We're Engaged, Then Try To Seduce Her and Then Jerk Off Into A Sink When She Rebuffs Our Advances!

(below, submitted by Boulder EADJ reporter Mel Kreilein, the hottest Halloween costume this side of the Mississippi)

Toss That Meat!

Okay.

This Second Life crap has to stop. Nobody cares about Second Life except geeks and people who like to play with digital dolls. We already have AIM, so why the fuck do you want to use a more convoluted, ugly, and non-intuitive way to chat online? And the fact that some dude has made some real money selling virtual real estate or the fact that some crap company has set up a virtual shop in Second Life is no longer news. Second Life fucking SUCKS. Except for the fact that a virtual Joel can eat virtual dick on it.

(Pictured above, Jessica uses her unique logic and reason to get dressed for the winter.)

ADDENDUM: This entry is not implying that Jessica goes on Second Life. It does imply that she has questionable judgment, however.