SHARK TAGLINES! IN THE WATER!

Hey Bayer

Hey Bayer

You don't have to put a legal super on your ads that say "Scientist portrayed by an actor" if you've already cast an actor that is too rugged and good looking to be a scientist.

That guy looks ridiculous. He looks like a lumberjack who stole a lab coat from behind a Clinique make up counter. Hmm, maybe get that guy to tent his fingers while he's talking will make him seem more knowledgable...

Just for your reference for future Bayer ads, here is a photo of real life scientist Dr. Ahmed Chadli, biochemist in the MCG Center for Molecular Chaperones/Radiobiology and Cancer Virology at the Medical College of Georgia. Maybe you could cast him instead of Michael Bolton there.

Also, Bayer, thanks for creating heroin.

Coming Soon To The EADJ Crappinema: "The Casino Job"

What do you get when you have a budget of $45, a bunch of good looking women who make for a decent movie poster but can't act their way out of jury duty, and a DVD so scratched up from the cut-out bin that I'll probably watch it in 15 minutes?


"The Casino Job," written, produced and directed by Christopher Robin Hood. I AM NOT SHITTING YOU, SON:


I'm guessing "Christopher Robin Hood" is the new "Alan Smithee."

Rated R for terrible acting, nipples, and Art Institute-caliber sound mixing.

Heroes: The Brynn & Joanne Special Edition

Here's footage of Brynn & Joanne playing dolly with some Heroes action figures, which if you ask me, is far superior to the actual series.

The Confused NYC Tourists

Pekka: Helmi!

Helmi: What, Pekka?

Pekka: Now I am confused.

Helmi: Why are you experiencing the confusion?

Pekka: Well, not only do the streets of America flow the different way that we have accustomed to, but the street signs trick me when I drive in the Manhattan. I regret the rental automobile that we getted.

Helmi: Where is my wallet?

Pekka: And when we drive from West Side Highway to the Meatpacking Area, I follow the signs like the policeman tell me to, but then old ladies all over windshield!

Helmi: Pekka, it is not normal to drive on sidewalk.

Pekka: But I follow traffic rules. And still, old lady begging for life on hood of car! Helmi, take another photograph in case I find arrest by policemen.

(Click)