More Stupid Taglines For a Bad Movie That Was Released Years Ago 2021

The Birth and Rebirth of All Nature, / The Passing of Winter and Spring, / We Share With the Life Universal, / Rejoice in the Magical Pathmark.

Like a mis-shelved Phoenix rising from the ashes, it is becoming safer to shop in person, and the Pathmark segment has finally returned.

And these two submitted by Emily Kane:

Welcome back, frustrated stockboys!

UAG

Two Dreams From Andrew And One From Me Still Counts As A Smecial Dreams Entry

Feed a Meter, Eat a Dick

Joel got punched in the throat by a meter maid.

The incident happened yesterday on La Cienega Blvd when Joel was parking his Ford Festiva outside of Republic Restaurant + Lounge for a Terrible Screenwriters Guild dinner. A posted sign stated "No parking from 11am-5pm Mondays thru Fridays" and Joel parked at 5:10pm. In the middle of dinner, he left the restaurant for a smoke, and a meter maid was writing him a ticket!

Joel understandably got upset and started to argue with the meter maid. He explained that he had parked at a legal time and didn't deserve a ticket. The meter maid started ripping up the ticket and casually asked Joel what he does for a living.

He told her he's a screenwriter– that he's written for shows like "According To Jim" and "Wicked Wicked Games." That's when the meter maid punched him in the throat.

(pictured above, Joel's Chinese cousin Xiu Huang Whatever wins a cockdog eating contest)

Let's Not Tell the EADJ Mail Sack That We're Engaged, Then Try To Seduce Her and Then Jerk Off Into A Sink When She Rebuffs Our Advances!

(below, submitted by Boulder EADJ reporter Mel Kreilein, the hottest Halloween costume this side of the Mississippi)

Separated Afterbirth?

**UPDATE**

The Pedway Guide article refers to her as MS. Sue McCloskey. So if she did have the hottie chick as a daughter, it would have been as a single mother. No wonder that girl's so clingy.