"One Good Thing About Pathmark, When It Hits You, You Feel No Pain."

The Target Ghetto Aisle.

If you've ever entered a Target, you may have noticed a bizarre section that offers merchandise for mere pennies. The problem is, 100% of the stuff on these shelves is unadulterated crap. I've dubbed this dubious section the Target Ghetto Aisle: it's cheap as ass, crowded as ass, and you can sometimes find meth hidden in places.

And the care that they put into arranging the merchandise! How do they keep such VALUES ORGANIZED LIKE THIS?!! HOW, JESUS?

Personally, I don't remember purchasing anything from these low-rent aisles. Well, maybe an emery board and a bedazzled Hello Kitty baton.

FUN FACT: Every year, over 3800 teens disappear when visiting the Target Ghetto Aisle and are never heard from again!

Next time you're at Target, take a minute to visit the Target Ghetto Aisle. You'll either catch some really great bargains or meningitis. And tell 'em EADJ sent ya!

Street.

Pictured above, a leather jacket for someone who either roots for teams from Philadelphia or supermarkets in the southeast United States.

Heroes: The Brynn & Joanne Special Edition

Here's footage of Brynn & Joanne playing dolly with some Heroes action figures, which if you ask me, is far superior to the actual series.

Not to be taken orally.

A Purell-sponsored PSA campaign has been released today with Joel as its spokesperson. The campaign urges young people to clean whatever dick they're about to eat. Purell has released statistics stating that over the past four years, over 60% of young people who eat dick haven't cleaned it or didn't know where the dick has been. The campaign consists of three spots: "Itch," "Scrubbing," and "Balls Too." Joel uses his trademark good looks and charm while speaking to the camera. He even wears his trademark teal leather jacket with rivets spelling "TOSS THAT MEAT" on the back. More installments of the campaign are to be filmed later this year in Modesto and Bangkok.

(pictured above, Kenurkey angrily denies rumors that he's been sent by Joel to divert the teasing his way)