The ProofrEADJer: March Edition

"GODSENT"

Let's Not Tell the EADJ Mail Sack That We're Engaged, Then Try To Seduce Her and Then Jerk Off Into A Sink When She Rebuffs Our Advances!

(below, submitted by Boulder EADJ reporter Mel Kreilein, the hottest Halloween costume this side of the Mississippi)

Heads up, Joel.

A sudden, minor earthquake rattled the Thomas household today.

Several porcelain dicks were cracked from the tremor, as were Joel's dobro guitar and pink boots. Power was restored within minutes of an outage, so none the frozen dick in Joel's garage freezer were ever in danger. What did not survive, however, was Joel's 14 foot house of cards, which fell almost immediately. Why Joel set it up in the driveway, none of us can know.

Joel's chimp servant Chad Yarborough was disappointed to find its prized collection of Grey's Anatomy figurines strewn all about its quarters. It whimpered a bit but felt better once McSteamy and the rare Preston Burke figurines were found intact.

Their above-ground pool filled with goat semen, valued at $4500, was unfortunately destroyed.

(pictured above, Ayana displays a true relic: a portfolio with LAMINATED pieces with FELT backing)