UAG

EADJ Pun Police: French Foreign Legion Edition

Faites attention! We are ze French Foreign Legion, and we are heeer to weeed out ze puns and punish zem for zheir crahmes! Heeeer we go!

"A Real Crowd Cheeser?" Horrifique! Zis offends me as a lover of words and as a Frenchman who love a good fromage! Quelle dommage!

(Stomps the label under his jackboot)

"Put Your Hams Together." Oh, Whole Foods, zis will not do! Your replacing a jambon to replace the word "hands" iz not clever du tout! I put you on notice!

(Rips poster down, buries it in the sand)

"And to all a good bite?" A second offense already? Non, non, non, non, non. Au revoir, Whole Foods!

(Turns entire wall of cannons towards Whole Foods, blows it to smithereens)

"Shops ahoy." Not a tres intelligent pun, non, Mademoiselle? That pun is very- how do you say- pedestrian! I made a joke! Ha ha ha! A better pun than what iz on her sac!

(Mounts his horse and drives the woman into the nearest Sephora store to take cover)

"Raise your Timperature." Non. English is not my language premiere, but inventing new words is not acceptable, even pour un foreigner comme mois. Dégoûtant!

(Stabs the poster with his bayonet, kicks entire display down)

"Februany?" I don't get it, Zubway.

(Ignores)

Observe closely at zis display, mes amis. Clique to enlarge. You will see zat every flavour of zese drinks are terrible puns: Mar-GO-rita, Daiq-GO-ri, and Piña-GO-lada. I have even zampled zese boissons and have found them worthy of ze puns terribles zat zey wear on zeir labels!

(Loads explosives onto drink display. Enjoys a fine red wine from a distant dune as the entire thing explodes.)

(Too many puns to name at one time)

Zis is from a Man de Bat livre comique. I have no idea who zis eyepatched woman is, either, but maybe zince zere is a Joker and a Riddler, maybe she is ze Punster?

Eizer way, she talks too much and I zink she should pay dearly for her crahmes.

(Sits her down and makes her watch 12 hours of French original programming on TV)

The EADJ Sticker Show

Wherever there are urban areas, there are rats. But also, wherever there are urban areas, there are random stickers. Now, nobody's saying that rats are responsible for putting up random stickers... fuck, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this.

(restart) Hey, have you ever noticed random stickers around town and wondered what the hell they mean? Well, we at EADJ are here to help with our new segment, the EADJ Sticker Show. Using the power of the Internet, we attempt to demystify the sticky goings around town! You're welcome!

• MilkBoy sticker, spotted in an Austin, TX burger joint


Well, pre-sleuthing, I'm guessing this is some kind of record label or music store. And a quick visit to MilkBoy.tv confirms this. It's a recording studio located in Ardmore, Pennsylvania, boasting services such as multi-track digital recording, mixing, and sound design. The fact that the sticker was found in the musical mecca Austin comes as no surprise, then. They also own MilkBoy Coffee, a coffeeshop/bistro that has a stage for music for their label's artists. Neat.



• Sucka Brown sticker, spotted in suburban Los Angeles


Pre-sleuthing, I guess Sucka Brown is some wise-ass self-promoting graffiti artist. A quick Googling, however, revealed Sucka Brown to be worse: a bunch of white guys from Boston playing "funk/pop/rock." And yes, their music is as white bread funk as you can imagine.



Kudos to Sucka Brown for spreading the word of their sub-par, Ruby Tuesday-caliber funk all the way to the San Fernando Valley!

• Leo & Pipo sticker, spotted in Midtown NYC


I assumed Leo & Pipo was some sort of boutique clothier for the sophisticated urbanite who drank Dos Equis and smoked cigarillos. Turns out Leo & Pipo are two Parisian artists who use collages of black and white photography to integrate people from another time into the surroundings of the present.


So essentially their stickers are a big part of their art, and instead of some thoughtless promo slapped on a mailbox, it's *art* slapped on a mailbox. We at EADJ approve of this distinction.

Check EADJ for more sticker investigatin' in the future. Or submit your sticker mysteries to incineratedfrank@yahoo.com

UAG

French Hat.

In honor of Brynn being back from vacation, here's a photo of her with a hat floating above her head: