Today We Asked A Man With His Head Squeezed Between A Woman's Thighs To Explain Why 4/20=Marijuana

"Ugh... That's actually a pretty good questio... gah. *Kaff* Apparently according to... ouch... urban legend, a group of Californian teenagers... ACK! ...teenagers regularly smoked marijuana every... *cough* day at 4:20 pm. (gulp)  The ritual... *gasp* ... spread, and soon 420 became code for smoking marijuana. Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. E...eventually 420 was even converted into... ouch... 4/20 for calendar purposes, and the day of celebration was born!"

*skull is crushed and his eyes pop out of their sockets*

Now Streaming On the Documentary Channel

Is fiction too fake for you? Then check out these sweet nonfiction-ish documentaries now on the Documentary Channel:

• Slap Fighting: the Private School Sport

• Hollow Earthers: Don't Laugh At Us

• Which Buffet Food Was Spat In?

• The Hoover Dam: A Concrete Fucking Masterpiece

• Cowboy Genitalia & Rodeos

• Aging B-Boys: Poppin, Lockin, and Fracturin''

• My Nuts, Your Eyes

• The First Low Earth Orbital Test of the Apollo I Command and Service Module and How It Proved The Haters Wrong and Shut Them Up Forever

Upcoming YouTube Stars To Watch Out For

YouTube Star: M🐢NKY

Number of Followers: 56,904,255

Channel: Reaction videos of people doing amazing things like PARKING!

YouTube Star: KoomBatz

Number of Followers: 3,841,282

Channel: Prank videos where Koombatz predicts things happen but they don't. HILARIOUS!

YouTube Star: Krrrrrrrrrrla

Number of Followers: 567,355,632,116

Channel: Shocking videos where she reacts to amazing things like people paying bills and doing things for themselves.

YouTube Star: Gaslighter✉✉✉29✉✉✉

Number of Followers: 823,582,444

Channel: Gaslighter✉✉✉29✉✉✉ features crazy shit you can't handle. LIKE AUTOMATIC DOORS AND ESCALATORS. BWAHHHHHHHHHHH!

YouTube Star: Especial Dingus

Number of Followers: 5,435,936,233,943,121

Channel: Mostly shots of him trying to clean his desktop. Sometimes games.

YouTube Star: VALEREE🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔VAL

Number of Followers: 567,355,632,116

Channel: VALEREE🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔🥔VAL tackles brain busters like mazes from children's placemats and Middle East peace talks

YouTube Star: DumbassMillennial

Number of Followers: 40,559,624,328,636,024

Channel: DumbassMillennial doesn't make commentary so much as make enthusiastic grunts whenever something he sees confuses him.

Today We Asked A Man With His Head Squeezed Between A Woman's Thighs To Explain How This EADJ Segment Is Different From Vince's "Uncle Roberto" Segment

"Well, that's a very... *gah* good question. Uh, ouch... At first gla... *chokes*... glance, it does appear that both... guh... segments are 'how to' or advice columns that... *AGGH* ouchouchouchouchouch... deviate from what they're supposed to say for comedic effe... *ack* WAIT.... WAITAMINUTE... effect. But if you look dee... *gag*... if you look dee... *passes out, slips into coma*

20 Things Cuter Than Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande

If you follow entertainment news even slightly, you've heard of the engagement between SNL's Pete Davidson and pop superstar Ariana Grande. And yes, they sure are an adorable couple, but to put things in perspective, here are 20 things that are still actually cuter than those two:

• travel-size computer mice

• daisies with happy faces on them

• this ball boy

• a puppy wearing a diaper with puppies on it

• the smaller Fry Guy from those old McDonald's commercials

• water balloons that weren't filled all the way so they're just the size of a plum

• strip mall post offices

• flip phones now

• any diagram that shows how artesian wells work

• the Sanrio version of Thanos

• paper cups that have a little teacup handle

• babies with huge afros

• any Pac-Man musical interlude

• yogurt raisins

• the tilde

• your heart rate after a nap

• Pyewacket Lane in Waterford, VA

• those Capri-Sun-like wine pouches

• that last part on American Ninja where you have to run up a curved hill

• the fact that you will 100% likely mispronounce the name of any Irish town

This Week in Hip Hop Awfulness

Jerry insisted on wearing a jacket that featured every year that "Full House" was aired.

"Neptune, side pocket."

And I'm pretty sure that corner pocket is occupying the same space as that woman's belly.

Rappers really need a handkerchief when they sneeze.

Unless the Baby Jesus is going to bust out some rhymes, I'm not interested in this album.

♪ Here's the story, of one obscure rapper... ♪

Uh, that's it.

"Ike Turn Up?" Terrible pun. Why not "Ike Turnip?"

Sometimes perfection is instantly recognized.

"Wait. Obamacare is the same thing as the Affordable Care Act?! Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!"

I got both horny and indigestion from seeing this cover.

Bravo for going full Olympics with the theme there. Not sure what the green ring is, though.

Laps laps laps.

Oh no, the poor skull's eyeballs were poked out. Why did the skull have eyeballs in the first place? Ah, who cares. Let's go bowling.

There's a fine line between slightly clever and mindnumbingly dumb. This is the center of that line.

The ProofrEADJer: December Edition

The Frick Collection

The Frick Art Reference Library located in the former mansion of famed industrialist Henry Clay Frick is frickin' proud to announce The Frick Collection, featuring the most frickin' exceptional frickin' works of Western art every frickin' created. Ranging from the frickin' Renaissance through the frickin' late nineteenth century, the collection includes paintings and frickin' sculptures by celebrated artists such as Bellini, Fragonard, Houdon, Ingres, Manet, Monet, Rembrandt, frickin' Renoir, Titian, Turner, Velazquez, Vermeer, Verrocchio and frickin' Whistler, for cryin' out loud.The Frick Collection's galleries also contain fine European porcelains, Limoges enamels, and frickin' eighteenth-century French furniture. The frickin' permanent collection is further enriched by frequent presentations of frickin' special exhibitions. 

Members of the Frick Collection receive many special frickin' privileges. They enjoy unlimited free admission to the frickin' museum, including special exhibitions; discounts in the frickin' shop; a subscription to the Member's Frickin' Magazine; and invitations to openings and other special frickin' events. PHone 212.547.frickin'. 0707 for further information or to join.

Another Urban Tumbleweed Spotted

To prove that the hair weave tumbleweed is not just an isolated phenomenon, here is a new video of an urban tumbleweed spotted in suburban New Jersey, which I guess makes it a suburban tumbleweed:

Urban Tumbleweed

Weave + Wind = Western Music

Come To New York City

Where you can buy flip flops with brand names like Babe or Adadis.

AND THEN THERE WERE NONE.