Today We Asked A Man With His Head Squeezed Between A Woman's Thighs To Explain Why 4/20=Marijuana

"Ugh... That's actually a pretty good questio... gah. *Kaff* Apparently according to... ouch... urban legend, a group of Californian teenagers... ACK! ...teenagers regularly smoked marijuana every... *cough* day at 4:20 pm. (gulp)  The ritual... *gasp* ... spread, and soon 420 became code for smoking marijuana. Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. E...eventually 420 was even converted into... ouch... 4/20 for calendar purposes, and the day of celebration was born!"

*skull is crushed and his eyes pop out of their sockets*

Some Upcoming InfoWars Conspiracy Theories

Conspiracy theories used to be fun. In the 90s, people would tune into The X-Files on Fridays to get the latest improbable but spooky theory about how the government was trying to control you. Now it's the bread and butter of tons of crazy podcasters, Facebookers and InfoWars to get you all riled up against everything under the sun to keep you afraid and addicted to fear/anger. Here are the newest conspiracy theories they'll be floating on that show soon:

• Lane Bryant is a skinny woman who sells plus size clothes as a cosmic joke

• Virtually every food that begins with a T will give you dick cancer

• If you don't convert all your money into gold bullions and NFTs, you will starve this summer

• "POC" stands for People Of Color, but it also stands for Purgatory Octopus Centurions

• If you suck on an old Nintendo cartridge instead of blowing on it, you can get high

• All raccoons drive around in a rented U-Haul to find trash cans worth raiding

• The blue line in pregnancy tests is actually a letter "I" that stands for INFERTILE

• You know what's inside hacky sacks? Dried up aborted fetuses.

Environmental, Social, and Political Challenges We Will Face in 2022, Presented In Part By Utz

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Let's break wind into the EADJ Mail Sack, then hold it over the head of our significant other!

(the following submission by Vince: a photographer who shoulda been a typesetter for puppy newsletters)