The ProofrEADJer: April Edition

Random 7-11 Shelf Fun

I don't know if you've ever tried this particular flavor of Coca-Cola, but imagine toxic waste combined with stale sweetener. Still better than a Pepsi, though.

This is for the ULTIMATE peanut butter lovers who don't want to fuck around with some chocolate covering on a Reese's. Why? Because it's not peanut butter! I imagine actual ultimate peanut butter lovers are just scooping straight out of a peanut butter jar into their mouths.

I'm not sure if this sign is up for health code reasons, for public safety reasons, or just because they were sick of seeing dumbasses burn their fingers. 

Campus Life, Continued

Last Friday, we dunked on Pocket Gems's mobile game Campus Life because it depicted women on campus doing nothing but partying and shopping and dating without a single book or even paper in sight. But turns out we were making fun of screenshots from the 2013 version of the game, which might be a little unfair. So here now we compare the splash page from days of 2013 yore to that of today's, taken from the Android app page on Amazon:

HOLY SHIT. The difference is breathtaking, really. That pink balloon over by the bookshelves(LOL!) on the right has drifted in 7 years over to above the computer. It's hard to tell if it's even the same app anymore!

The ProofrEADJer: March Edition

"GODSENT"

The ProofrEADJer: December Edition

The ProofrEADJer, Culinary Gourmet Edition

How come no one in the food industry can spell "avocado?"

Hot Sausage Is Having A Bad Day.

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Poor Cyndi Lauper

Spotted in the "Queer Issue" of The Village Voice, featuring the "Jersey Shore" dudes (which in itself is hilarious)...


... a very unfortunate opposite-page placement of Cyndi Lauper's album across from the Scissor Sister's new album, which forces Cyndi to kiss a dude's ass:


Click movie to make her do it:

Introducing: Ass Harmonica!

Are you suffering from chronic gastritis or constant bloating? And do you like harmonica music? Then the Ass Harmonica is for you! The makers of Ass Harmonica have scientifically combined embarrassing symptoms of persistent gas with the love of blues harp to create a pleasant and FUN way to get rid of unwanted farty pants.

Here's how it works: Ass Harmonica is a larger-than-normal sized harmonica that you play with your ass instead of your mouth. And since you're playing with your asscrack, the harmonica is held vertically. You discharge any gas you may have into one of the 78 blow holes in the Ass Harmonica, and nothing but beautiful blues music comes out.


Made from military-grade aluminum and stainless steel, the Ass Harmonica is a lovingly handcrafted musical instrument destined to become a beloved heirloom. It also has been endorsed by both the Memphis Blues Historical Society and the National Association of Gastroenterologists. It's become so popular, in fact, that freshmen at Rutgers University in Piscataway, New Jersey will all receive Ass Harmonicas when they arrive for Fall semester! (Duke University and the College of William and Mary will have Ass Harmonicas for their freshmen in the spring.)


The makers of Ass Harmonica are also working on a special Ass Harmonica belt/bracket so users can play while running or riding a recumbent bicycle. Also, look for an eco-friendly version of Ass Harmonica made from bamboo and spittle later this fall!

Also coming soon: Ass Flute, Ass Castanets, and Ass Piccolo

EADJ Travelogue

Spotted by J'Net in Rio De Janeiro, a store display for women's underwear:



"Brazil loves its butts," muttered J'Net.

Sequels