The ProofrEADJer, End of Jan Edition

Do they mean "Veggie Tales"?

UAG

It's Time Once Again To Play: Which Can, Erickson?

Match the following unidentified toilets to their respective locations, indicated by defunct candy bars:

Cadbury Aztec: Schlesinger Associates Marketing Research, Houston, TX

Absotively Nutty: Brasserie by Niche, St. Louis, MO

Clark Reggie!: Barclays Center, Brooklyn, NY

Summit: Terroni, Toronto BC, Canada

Abba-Zaba: Company Production Offices, Los Angeles, CA

Caravelle: Golden Cantonese Seafood and Dim Sum Restaurant, Dunellen, NJ

The answers in 24 hours!

The Very Best Heartfelt Christmas Wishes Greetings To You From The Interns, Staff Writers, Art Department, and Editorial Staff at Eat A Dick Joel

♫ ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♫

Christmas is a time for joying
Christmas is a time for love
Holiday cheer and carol-ing
Sledding as it snows from above

Ray watching Star Trek in the break room
Instead of working like he should
Now a running gag on Eat a Dick Joel
Strange how I always look at his ass

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!!

Here's A Brief List of Things You Can Be Expected To Applaud For At Any Comedy Club

• the incredible and hardworking waitstaff

• how nice the venue looks

• the presenter

• "The Ladies"

• the fact that you're "having a good time"

• that it's the comedian's birthday

• that the comedian has a new baby

• any mention of New York

• any mention of the West Coast

• being single

• being married

• the mention of beer

• the mention of pot

• how handsome Ryan Gosling is

• how strong your drinks are

• Columbus Day

• the enduring popularity of McDonald's food

• how fucking feels good

• our men and women in uniform

• how cool dogs are

• liking big butts

• the Golden Corral

• reversible windows

• the death of "Clippy"

• cosplay

• roma tomatoes

• the end of slavery

• fart spray

• Ron Perlman

• cloth napkins kicking ass

• keg stands

• drinking from a beer boot

• oscilloscopes

• the concept of humility

• Cameron Diaz' film career

• female directors

• USB hubs

• the apostle Peter

• Overstock.com

• fleshlights

• parting your hair on the right

Six Lies Told By the Bryce Ski Resort Brochure

1) That kid thinks he's totally hot shit but he ain't fucking nuthin'.

2) Although the Fireside Grill lists beer last amongst their offerings, it is the main reason anyone goes there, even at 9am.

3) You see that snowboarder goofing like he's about to jump down off the lift? He was totally too much of a wuss to do it, earning the scorn of his two braver, wiser buddies.

4) "NASTAR Racing." That's a misprint. The Horst Locher Snowsport School actually offers NASCAR Racing, the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing that governs over 1500 auto races at over 100 tracks around the country and in Canada.

5) Under a very loose interpretation of this Virginia law, a carpet lift operator could feasibly stab anyone on the Bunny Slope and get away with it.

6) Contrary to legend, the owners of Bryce Resort had no intention of making the ski trail map resemble a cartoon fish.

EADJ is proud to announce that starting March 31, participating Sizzler restaurants will offer a special "6 Lies" Rib Eye steak. This delicious, well-marbled cut of beef is seared generously with their signature steak seasoning and grilled to perfection. Served with your choice of side of either smashed potatoes or steak fries, the "6 Lies" Rib Eye will be hard to beat. $12.99 with coupon.

Bonus: Apparently Google+ detected the cover of this brochure and saw fit to add this:

The hell?!

UAG

UAG

EADJ ProofrEADJer, February Edition

(This one submitted by Tom Weingard:)

From Dust To Dawn

(pictured above, a homophobic clean freak delivers some vigilante justice)

Dick Light Update?!?

In a bizarre instance of life imitating blog, an article from Gizmodo.com appeared the day after the Feb 15 entry "Shining A New Light" appeared on EADJ.


Weird!

TV Talk! Zzzzzzzz.

Tom and Beth discuss a TV show that I don't watch.



Is Beth flirting with Tom? Note the hair flip.

***UPDATE***
Beth doesn't like this video and wants me to take it down.

It's a Long Way to the Joel (If You Wanna Eat a Dick)

This EADJ Guest Writer Week has sort of fallen to shit, so we're going to just bag it for now. Maybe a guest entry from Joel sometime. That would be funny. A whole entry talking about how much he eats dick, by HIMSELF. So meta!

Today Joel had his regular regimen of bran cereal and dick to get started in the morning, then a sensible lunch of dick with lime and pesto. Tonight he will be going to Dicko Bell to scarf a Gordicka Crunch and a Seven Layer Burdicko. Then he's going to The Loews Dickaplex Odeon to watch "Ten Dicks I Ate About You" and "Alpha Dick" starring Jusdick Dickerlake.

(pictured above, a Canon technician wonders what's a five-letter word for "Sculptor's subject.")