We Are The Future.

Left: A promotional poster for a slap championship.

Right: The Presidential cabinet from "Idiocracy".

Six Lies Told By the Bryce Ski Resort Brochure

1) That kid thinks he's totally hot shit but he ain't fucking nuthin'.

2) Although the Fireside Grill lists beer last amongst their offerings, it is the main reason anyone goes there, even at 9am.

3) You see that snowboarder goofing like he's about to jump down off the lift? He was totally too much of a wuss to do it, earning the scorn of his two braver, wiser buddies.

4) "NASTAR Racing." That's a misprint. The Horst Locher Snowsport School actually offers NASCAR Racing, the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing that governs over 1500 auto races at over 100 tracks around the country and in Canada.

5) Under a very loose interpretation of this Virginia law, a carpet lift operator could feasibly stab anyone on the Bunny Slope and get away with it.

6) Contrary to legend, the owners of Bryce Resort had no intention of making the ski trail map resemble a cartoon fish.

EADJ is proud to announce that starting March 31, participating Sizzler restaurants will offer a special "6 Lies" Rib Eye steak. This delicious, well-marbled cut of beef is seared generously with their signature steak seasoning and grilled to perfection. Served with your choice of side of either smashed potatoes or steak fries, the "6 Lies" Rib Eye will be hard to beat. $12.99 with coupon.

Bonus: Apparently Google+ detected the cover of this brochure and saw fit to add this:

The hell?!

The Lonnie Quinn Shirt Sleeve Index, Revisited

During Hurricane Superstorm Sandy, we introduced you to the phenomenon of "The Lonnie Quinn Shirt Sleeve Index," an unorthodox but reliable measure of the seriousness of a weather forecast based on the condition of CBS New York Channel 2's meterologist Lonnie Quinn's shirt sleeves.

Since that November storm, there have been the occasional thunderstorm and bouts of heavy precipitation. But Lonnie had not adjusted his sleeves until February 8, when several feet of snow were predicted to fall. Here now is a breakdown of that night's coverage:

Severe Weather Report

An overnight snowstorm bringing up to 14" of snow has caused the offices of EADJ to close today. Please stand by while we shovel the entrance and make our way back into our blogging headquarters.

The Rest Stop Fashion Show!

Off the rack and right off the turnpike, see what the ladies are wearing this season!


Tess and Imelda are "on the go" in a long sleeve tee with yoga pants and a blue sweatshirt with grey sweatpants, courtesy of Big Dogs Clothing!


"What should I order at Starbucks?" Although Carla is indecisive about her caffeine fix, she definitely knows what to wear with a hooded fur-lined jacket from Strawberry: a fanciful license plate-themed PJ bottom from Old Navy!


Buying a commemorative penny for your son from a vending machine doesn't have to be a chore anymore, thanks to a comfy pink sweater with fanciful waist fringe and velour pants from Fingerhut!


A white jacket with black dorsal striping from North Face goes well with plaid PJ bottoms and polka dot rain boots from JC Penney, n'est ce pas? C'est vraiment magnifique!


The right ensemble makes a statement. And a black Columbia fleece coat with black sweatpants with anatomically-incorrect paw prints on the rear says, "A miniature cartoon lion pushed me out of his den!"


L-iiimber up, girls! Jenny stretches the boundaries of chic in a grey hoodie from Target, some Ugg boots, and black sweatpants from her mother's boyfriend's dresser. Ana goes outdoorsy in a white vest from Target, black leggings from Forever 21, and black boots from Jenny's mother's boyfriend's dresser.


No amount of cold can freeze out femininity! Rhonda defies the winter in a Peruvian hat, snowflake decorated red coat from Burlington Coat Factory, a Dress Barn dress over blue sweatpants, and a pair of Keds. And it looks like she's caught the eye of black R2D2!


"Turkey or ham?" Whilst considering her pre-made sandwich options, Donna bundles up in a North Face vest over a black hoodie over a white hoodie, both from Aeropostale.


Everyone loves a circus, and Michelle Litos takes center ring for the crowd in a checkered hoodie from God-knows-where and a snowflake-patterned pajama bottom from hell-if-I-know.

Today's Worst Entry

I've always thought that in photos, Brian Johnson of AC/DC looks like he's about to sneeze.

Let's Ask the EADJ Mail Sack To Speak To Their Manager!

Submitted by Bill Dow: "Awesome."

***Let's Open the EADJ HOLIDAY Mail Sack!***

Two Christmas cards submitted by J'Net:

The first: Embossed, gold-leaf proof that J'Net paid too much for that muffler in Chicago.





Secondly, a card from J'Net's cousin Lisa:


I'm not sure which dog is Christy, but through the magic of deduction, I know one of them has to be Peanut. I started to feel sorry for that 16-year old playing Santa, being forced to take a photo with dogs with cataracts. Then I noticed the "bone snowflakes" and realized that he signed up for that bum gig. Stupid kid.

Hey! Let's play Who Farted with this photo!