A Rilly Dum Onlyn Ad

From the Book of Dumbass: 24:7

Something I've Discovered About People

No matter where a fountain might be, whether it's in the dining area of a crappy deli, or in Trafalgar Square, or even in a display in a Lowe's Home Improvement Store, people will always want to throw their coins in it.


Always.

It's a Long Way to the Joel (If You Wanna Eat a Dick)

This EADJ Guest Writer Week has sort of fallen to shit, so we're going to just bag it for now. Maybe a guest entry from Joel sometime. That would be funny. A whole entry talking about how much he eats dick, by HIMSELF. So meta!

Today Joel had his regular regimen of bran cereal and dick to get started in the morning, then a sensible lunch of dick with lime and pesto. Tonight he will be going to Dicko Bell to scarf a Gordicka Crunch and a Seven Layer Burdicko. Then he's going to The Loews Dickaplex Odeon to watch "Ten Dicks I Ate About You" and "Alpha Dick" starring Jusdick Dickerlake.

(pictured above, a Canon technician wonders what's a five-letter word for "Sculptor's subject.")

Deck the Halls with Boughs of Stale, Substandard Calzones

Eat a Dick, Joel! Eat a Dick, everyone!