The ProofrEADJer, End of Jan Edition

Do they mean "Veggie Tales"?

A Man With His Head Squeezed Between A Woman's Thighs Explains Plumbism

"Great question. Plumbism, or lead poisoning, is the buildup of lead in the body, usually over months or years.

Lead-based paint and... wait... its dust, uh, usually found *ACK* in older buildings, are common sources of exposure. *Huff huff huff* Occupa... occupational exposure, such as welding... OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH is a more common cause for... a... adults. Symptoms.... include *choke* developmental delays, abdominal pain, neurologic changes, and... OH GOD... irritability. At very high levels, it can be fa... fa... fa... fatal." *neck breaks, dies*

Not Particularly Proud Of This

 Was shopping on Amazon. Made use of the "Zoom" feature.

BTW I'm not particularly proud about shopping on Amazon, either.

Spotted In Target

Space Invaders: The Board Game! It's exactly like the classic arcade game, but with way more steps, harder to remember rules and five times the frustration! Finally, the Amish can play Space Invaders!

Why Barbie Would Make A Terrible Spy

"Barbie Spy Squad' just came out on DVD, and apparently Barbie plays some sort of secret agent, which sounds like a pretty fucking awful idea when you think about it. Here are just a few reasons why:

• A pink trench coat with sequins will get you shot.
• There are very few countries where a 6'4" blonde will blend in.
• Tailing someone is almost impossible when driving a pink Corvette.
• Nobody trusts their secrets to what they think is a high-priced prostitute.
• Barbie would be too busy being an airline pilot, a forest ranger, and a fashion model to spend enough time gathering significant intel.
• If placed under 'enhanced interrogation' by the enemy, Barbie would siiiiiiiiing.
• She has no inside voice.
• Barbie hasn't had the stomach for murder ever since she strangled Skipper in a bar fight.
• Barbie is MADE IN CHINA, so you'd know where her loyalties would lie.
• It would take her 4 hours just to get dressed before doing anything.

Smecial Dreams Entry

From John Reid:

And three from Andrew Gall:

There's lots of Megan this time around.