More Proposed Taglines For A Timeless Cinematic Classic

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Easter is almost upon us, and I stumbled upon some really keen Easter stuff in the latest Oriental Trading catalog. Because I'm Oriental.


The catalog is filled with knick-knacks and doodads that help teachers introduce their Sunday School students to Easter, which is fine, until I got to the pageant costume section:


Now kids can play out the entire resurrection scene. You know, where Jesus comes out of the cave and says "hey." Then everyone is amazed except Thomas, who demands to feel Jesus' wounds before being convinced. Then Simon Peter gives Thomas an atomic wedgie, and Thomas starts crying and throws his Juicy Juice box at him.


Maybe it's just me, but there's something disingenuous and unsettling about a bunch of WASP-y kids dressing up as historical Middle Easterners in day-glo robes.


That kid looks like every bearded college guy walking into a party:

"Wassup, fools? Is the keg in the back?"

It's also nice to see that they make Joel's mandals in kid's sizes.

Rock Holes In My Lawn

Spotted on my street in New Jersey, a neighbor makes an interesting choice in landscaping.




My neighbor is thinking:

a) I love rocks. I think I'll display them like Easter Eggs on the grass!

b) You know, this will be a clever way to tell everyone my career as a stonemason!

c) As an avid rock collector, I think this should let the ladies know I'm down.

d) Fuck this steep hill. I'll just put rocks there so I won't ever have to mow it.

Something smells moist.

(pictured above, Dean Hacohen once again puzzled by Jessica showing off her ass)