And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Adjust Margins in MS Word

 

To change margins, click on the Margins button, found on the Page Layout tab. Word lists a number of pre-formatted options, but you can also make your own margins by selecting “Custom Margins,” found at the bottom of the Margins list. You can change each of the four margins in the dialog box that appears.

And speaking of margarine, one time I tried eating one of those Big Breakfasts with pancakes from McDonald's while driving the limo. Big mistake. My dry cleaning bill ended up being bigger than the fare I was driving!

Stay safe, kids!

This Week's Least Utilized Twitter Hashtags

Twitter sucks donkey dicks, but these taglines make Twitter suck even more donkey dicks. So go ahead and use these hashtags in the Twittersphere as you wallow in the digital cesspool of unsolicited misspelled rantings. 

#GoMets

#rapecakes

#brisdo-over

#turdtrickshot

#Jeb2020

#peeholetattoos

#joebidenmasseuse

#gangnamstyle2015

#mothertheresa'snipples

#foldingsweatersy'all

#jiffylubegrindrfantasy

#NewtGingrichassplay

#samsonitefullofpus

#bingewatchingtheentire2andaHalfMenseries

#isittoolatetoswitchtoTeamEdwardatthispoint?

Two Fashion Write-Ups In A Week?! You're Too Generous, EADJ.

"Who am I? I'm Batman's cousin Stephanie. I live in Hartford, Connecticut."

Yeah, that's right. I'm taking a photo of your big ass at Ihop. Your big ass overflowing them big jeans like whipped cream over an overfilled mocha shake. That's right. What are you gonna do? Click.

"Captain's log. Stardate 310624.3248140559. As I was examining the integrity of the scaffold-like structures of 43rd Street in Manhattan, I could sense someone following me with a cell phone camera, ready to snap a photo and criticize my Next Generation-like ensemble. I'll bide my time and hit him with a rock around the next corner, like I did the Gorn..."

Commuter math:

Unprepared + downpour + supporting local business + ingenuity = shopping bag hat.

Shopping bag hat, y'all.

Inspiration can come from anywhere. So when designing a layout, it's okay to get as reference whatever is stuck in the bun of your hair.

Come On Now, Blogger

Very recently we at EADJ pointed out technical difficulties with our blog service, which we hoped was a one-time glitch in our five-year run. And today, we found another impediment to posting regularly on this blog:


Where there would normally be a sign-in button was instead a cropped out row of blog templates. So now I can't even log in to post!

But how did I blog in just now to post this post, you ask? What are you, a cop?

Dog + Balls

(pictured above, Michelle Litos moonlights. Moonlitos?)

***Let's Open the EADJ HOLIDAY Mail Sack!***

Two Christmas cards submitted by J'Net:

The first: Embossed, gold-leaf proof that J'Net paid too much for that muffler in Chicago.





Secondly, a card from J'Net's cousin Lisa:


I'm not sure which dog is Christy, but through the magic of deduction, I know one of them has to be Peanut. I started to feel sorry for that 16-year old playing Santa, being forced to take a photo with dogs with cataracts. Then I noticed the "bone snowflakes" and realized that he signed up for that bum gig. Stupid kid.

Hey! Let's play Who Farted with this photo!

Curlz My Lip.

(pictured above, a trip to the cookie aisle is ruined by Peter Krivkovich)