Gettin Paid in 2025

Pictured below, former meme guy from 2010 parlays his internet fame into a suitable endorsement deal.

 

Get that bag, Antoine!

Kill It With Fire

Spotted on Disney+, a promo for the Disneynature Collection:

Great gosh. An attempt at artistic digital collage ends up looking like painful radioactive mutations. And what are the large shapes containing it all? Oh, they're the animals' environments– an iceberg, a leaf and a droplet of water.

If A.I. isn't responsible for these horrific design decisions, I'd sure as hell blame it on that.

Upcoming Exhibits at the Annual Consumer Electronics Show

CES takes place in Pueblo, Colorado next month. Here are the featured booths and products to check out:

• an Ebookshelf

• some complicated DJ equipment that makes it look like you're doing something

• a humidifier for your wife's privates

• an A.I. controlled Roomba that clicks its teeth at how messy you are

• live music by the Boston Dynamic Stagediving and Moshing Robots

• fiber optic butt plugs

• digital ham

"I Think Donald Just Criticized Me For Preparing For This Debate. And Yes, I Did. You Know What Else I Prepared For? I Prepared To Be Pathmark."

UAG

A Very Merry Christmas From EADJ

From all of us to all of you, peace on earth, motherfuckers.

And happy FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More Dialogue From Movies I Haven't Seen

I have seen a lot of movies. A LOT. Yes, even "Zombeavers." But I ain't seen these yet. Here's what I imagine their characters saying:

Jennifer Lopez voiceover: "This is my life. This is who I am. This is my story, told for the first time. This is the real me, not the lies that the tabloids tell, but the lies my publicists tell."

Steven: "Excuse me, front desk, can I get a bucket of ice for myAAAAAAAAUUHHHHHHHH!"

Liam Neeson: "Jenny? Jenny? Where are you?"

Liam Neeson: "Well, I'm glad to have you back home, Jenny. Jenny? Are you there? Yoo hoo!"

Liam Neeson: "Jenny. Seriously, where the fuck do you keep running off to?"

"Hey, Dad. I'm Iron Man."

"What in the sam shit are you talking about, boy?"

Gerard Depardieu: "Get owff MAH prow-pair-TEE!"

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of September 15

LEAST used hashtags. Least used.

#NFLheroes

#bangerzonvinyl

#hangingwithISIS

#dickcheneynipnips

#theoutfieldreuniontour

#walmartpowerwalking

#andersoncooperinathong

#DMXchildrensbookswhat

#sometimesimsoproudofmylabia

#spendingqualitytimewithkimjong

#icancumactualpancakebatterjustwatch

#ineverfoundjoanriversorrobinwilliamsthatfunny

#myhighschoolprincipaloncetoucheddickswithmeandwespooned

Two Fashion Write-Ups In A Week?! You're Too Generous, EADJ.

"Who am I? I'm Batman's cousin Stephanie. I live in Hartford, Connecticut."

Yeah, that's right. I'm taking a photo of your big ass at Ihop. Your big ass overflowing them big jeans like whipped cream over an overfilled mocha shake. That's right. What are you gonna do? Click.

"Captain's log. Stardate 310624.3248140559. As I was examining the integrity of the scaffold-like structures of 43rd Street in Manhattan, I could sense someone following me with a cell phone camera, ready to snap a photo and criticize my Next Generation-like ensemble. I'll bide my time and hit him with a rock around the next corner, like I did the Gorn..."

Commuter math:

Unprepared + downpour + supporting local business + ingenuity = shopping bag hat.

Shopping bag hat, y'all.

Inspiration can come from anywhere. So when designing a layout, it's okay to get as reference whatever is stuck in the bun of your hair.

The EADJ Sticker Show, Entry 3

Here's the semi-seasonal EADJ wrap-up some interesting stickers we've seen around town and their true meaning, courtesy of some Internet snooping.

---------

Shake Junt sticker spotted in Union, New Jersey.

Smoothie joint or line of hair care products?


Shake Junt is a skateboarding company from L.A., founded by Shane Heyl and is part of Baker Boys Distribution.

From Urban Dictionary: "Not JUST a brand, but a lifestyle. One which is filled with blunts, 40's and skating with the homies. The brand was started by the homies for the homies, and it what skating is all about."


They also feature a Spring 2012 catalog selling everything from DVDs to shirts to skateboard grip tape, marijuana leaf Hawaiian shirts, knapsacks, 40 oz coozies and yes, stickers.


---------

Cody B. Ware sticker spotted in Brooklyn.

Wrestler mag or political movement?



Neither. It's a rapper. And he's not too bad, either. "Cody B. Ware is Cody Morgan Verdecias. A 23 year old dreamer from the spirit world who represents Brairwood Jamaica, Queens. The child of interracial parents. Half Spanish Half Jewish. Hopeless Romantic keeping my PMA on high. My mother gave me my birth name & Graham Masser (Bad Rabbits) blessed me with the name of Cody B. Ware."



---------

Forever Is Fleeting sticker spotted in Princeton, New Jersey.

Since it's got a myspace URL, I'm going to guess terrible rock band.


Bingo. This scrappy unsigned group of musicians from Lower Bucks, Pennsylvania, feature three songs on their page: "Restart My Heart [NEW!]" "Take Advantage [NEW!]" and "Miles (Acoustic Version)."

They added their newest member, Alison Cloud(keyboard and vocals) sometime in 2010.


---------

Stoke Harvester sticker spotted in Seattle.

Organic food co-op or skateboard company?


Skateboard company. They sell skimboards, paddle boards, surfboards, skate gear and wetsuits. And the requisite trucker hat.



---------

Pat Falco can jump this high spotted in Midtown.

Underground shoe company or graffiti artist?


Turns out Pat Falco is sort of the latter. "Pat Falco is an artist, rapper, and curator. He has several redeeming qualities and is considered by his mom to be 'her son.'

Pat Falco is a cartoonist, rapper, t-shirt designer and frequent blogger. So it's no surprise that he's also a self-promoter.

The black figure with his penis hanging down is a character in his ongoing comic strip.


---------

Dolphins Rape People spotted in Soho.

Ironic skateboard company or sketch comedy troupe?



Neither. It's actually, quite literally, a group of people wanting to "reach out to the victims of dolphin rape and share their stories with the world."

"This is no laughing matter. We must all band together to stop the atrocity that is dolphin rape."

They even documented the world's various dolphin rape cave locations.


And they're selling more stickers at 2 for 5 bucks.
Mmm. Maybe it is a sketch comedy troupe, just trolling.