Let's Lose the Bookmark and Forget Where We Left Off in the EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Andrew: a van in Seattle for Brown Town Electrical:

Hey, take the carpool lane and then pull the van over. I need to go to Brown Town.

At The Office, Just Because Someone Says There's Food In The Kitchen Doesn't Mean It's Good

At least it's no meat?

New EADJ Segment

From the makers of Waiting Around Balloons,

EATING ICE CREAM ALONE!


EATING ICE CREAM ALONE!


EATING ICE CREAM ALONE!

The EADJ Sticker Show, Entry 2

Once again, using the power of Google, EADJ invetigates and explains the random decals one spots around town:



The Brown Angels Sticker spotted in San Francisco.

Alternative band or vigilante Filipino fighters?


Google didn't turn up a lot, except for a lot of mentions of Dan Brown's "Angels and Demons," the sequel to "The Da Vinci Code".

Some further hunting found that The Brown Angels are or were some kind of rock band. They even opened up for Silversun Pickups. So that's neat.


The Brown Angels apparently have no presence on YouTube. Or myspace.

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SYC BOIS Sticker spotted in Modesto, CA.

Punk band or Neverwinter Nights clan?


Punk band, established 1999. So, no surprises there.

"The S.Y.C. (Street Youth Core) BoiS are a punk rock band from southern california. There are three members Bucky, Chris, and Eddie. We are rock and roll. Punk rock is what we are about. 'Shave your head and die your hair, safety pins right through your ears'."

But a quick search for them on YouTube or myspace revealed nothing. Are they disbanded?


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How Many Robots Have You Killed Today Babe? Stickers spotted around Manhattan.

Anti-technology artist's rant or obscure quote from SyFy series?




This is actually a reference to a Haitian photographer's Tumblr page. The Brooklyn-based photographer (and writer) Richard Louissaint sells books of his photography and even runs his own blog. Neat.


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Slopness Monster: Sticker spotted in Austin, TX.

Skateboarding company or web comic?



Turns out SlopnessMonster.com is a multi-city, multi-campus website devoted to displaying photos of drunk hi-jinks like puking or passing out, offering pithy captions like "Trunk Limbo" or "My Bunny."


And do they have a social media component? What do you think, asshole?


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Run From Popo: Sticker spotted in Midtown NYC.

City pro-tip or viral web game?


Run From Popo is some kind of paintball tournament in urban settings which oddly (but awesomely) requires the people who play as "popo" to have served in a military, police, security or law enforcement job and the people who play as "criminals" to have really been arrested once.



Looks pretty harmless, seeing how the "criminals" dress in cartoony striped fatigues. Still, someone could really get shot.

Dumb YouTube Comment O' The Fortnight!

From Lisanova's personal video blog telling people about Global Geek Week to raise awareness for 4 charities (Oxfam, WWA, The Humane Society and Live Strong), a comment by SnaixOnAPlane:

"I want to eat the brown stuff that comes out of your butthole lisanova.. is that going too far?"

Stay classy, SnaixOnAPlane.

EADJ Surprising Hostility: Crushed Ice

Ah, crushed ice. You just totally suck, don't you?

I mean, you're ice, but you're not terribly useful; the instant I put you in a drink, you're already melted, so instead of rendering the drink colder and more refreshing, you've simply watered it down. Fucking awful.

And handling you is a pain in the ass, too. I can't just grab a few cubes. I have to grab that bitch-ass pewter scoop to grab a portion of you. I use the word "portion" because you even come in vague, unsatisfying amounts. And Lord knows that scoop is no good at containing you, because you always leave such a sloppy puddle on the floor or ground anyway. GOD, I HATE YOU!


What the fuck good are you, crushed ice? What, as an Italian ice or Sno-Cone? Good in theory, but essentially what that is is you being made more palatable with sugar water. You're just there for texture and temperature, and believe me, that's not a lot.


So whenever I see you in a urinal in the men's bathroom at some "fancy" bar or restaurant, I gladly piss on you. It is just so satisfying to burn a hole right through your useless, shapeless lump. Ladies, you don't know what you're missing. No, wait. Let me just leave a small crushed iceberg in your toilet and you can give it a go!

Do your work, sun. FUCK YOU, CRUSHED ICE!

Oh Curlz You Di-in't!

Joel doesn't dust.

That's what his chimp servant Chad Yarborough found out when it tried to ask Joel to help out for once. It had a pilates class to teach and couldn't get around to cleaning the apartment. Joel said he was too busy "researching a screenplay" as he watched the Bionic Woman marathon with his dick in his hand.

Joel being unwilling to help forced his chimp servant clean forced it to cancel class, thus cheating it out of $400.

Later that night, Joel didn't notice it, but there was a hint of chimp pee in his pesto ravioli.

(pictured above, using Curlz is bad enough. But using Curlz in ALL CAPS is even worse– especially in The Matrix)

Oh Xenia!

Brown ice cubes are never good.

Joel was horrified to find trays of brown cubes in his freezer trays while making himself a late-night dick shake. He questioned his chimp servant Chad Yarborough about it, and it didn't know anything and continued to play The Smurfs on Colecovision.

After checking the tap- which was clean– Joel examined the refrigerator connections and plumbing in the basement. Everything checked out, so he just threw the cubes away and chalked it up as a fluke.

The next day, the ice cubes were brown again! Joel is utterly baffled at this point. If you have any information about why Joel's cubes are brown, call 1-877-BROWN-ICE and tell them your theory. Joel is almost certain this is not dick-related, however.

(pictured above, a Brooklyn cafe's breakfast menu gives Andrew Gall Halloween costume ideas for the next four years)