The Lord Is My Pathmark, I Shall Not Reshelve

Apple Box Was Shocked.

Apple Box was shocked.

Side of MacBook was nervous.

Baby Changing Station was scandalized.

Delivery Van Door felt nauseous.

Take A Number Box was nonplussed.

Traffic Lights and Sign wished they were somewhere else.

Train Bracket was Home Alone.

Purse was all :P

And Stairwell just made stupid faces.

Special Weekend Entry

EADJ doesn't do this bit anymore, but if you look closely at the banner in this photo on NewYorkTimes.com, you'll see the phrase "WELCOME BACK GOVERNOR" set in the typeface Curlz MT.

Meanwhile, At the RNC...

Minutes after McCain spoke about literacy:


And during a portion about more oil drilling NOW:


I blame the liberal media for pointing the camera in their direction. But what disturbs me is that for all the talk about keeping America safe, a deposed dictator has found gainful employment at a Washington DC buffet:

Do Not Feed the Joel

Joel set his career in a new direction today. He announced through his publicist that although he will continue to eat dick professionally, he will also pursue his childhood dream of frenching ass.

"Frenching ass has been a neglected and underappreciated artform," read publicist Bernie Cofax, "I have made it my new life mission to return this noble lost art to the public eye."

Joel plans to publicly french ass at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Chicago, then maybe eat a dick or two at Mr. Beef afterwards. Joel assures his longtime fans of dick-eating that this new direction will add to his repertoire and not distract from the eating o' the dick.

(pictured above, Nikki bills 4 hours to Perez Hilton)