And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto Explains The 7 Ways That Skeletal Muscles Are Named

There are actually 8 main criteria in naming skeletal muscles:

1) Size (gluteus maximus)

2) Shape (trapezius)

3) Orientation of the muscle fibers (rectus abdominis)

4) Mechanical action of the muscles (flexor muscles)

5) Number of origins of a muscle (and yes, muscles can have more than one origin) (biceps, triceps, etc.)

6) The points of origin and insertion (sternocleidomastoid)

7) Name of the muscle function (The risorius is a facial muscle that is crucial for the expressions of smiling and laughter. Risorius comes from the Latin word risus, which means "laugh.")

8) The muscle's location (The temporalis muscle is named after the temporal bone (your temple) on top of which it is located).

And speaking of skeletal, when my limousine drivers and I are short-staffed and running on the barest of skeleton crews, please allow an extra 10 minutes for us rather than canceling and using Uber or Lyft instead. Stay safe, kids!

The ProofrEADJer: End O' June Edition

The ProofrEADJer: Mid-April Edition

And for shame, CNN:

More InfoWars Conspiracy Theories In The Works

The angry bird Alex Jones is a prolific shit-sprinkler of hate serves up unintelligible theories on the daily. But his talented stable of writers still have to stay ahead of the curve and have some rambling points created a day or two in advance of broadcast. Here are some of the "news stories" they're still working on:

• Anyone who officiates a lesbian wedding at any time receives a "hail Satan" t-shirt and an Indigo Girls CD box set.

• California have created small voting booths to place between the legs of illegal immigrant mothers giving birth so that when the baby is born, he can vote Democratic.

• Every photo posted on Imgur has an embedded invisible watermark that reads "BIDEN 2020".

• The Great Pacific garbage patch is actually an ISIS submarine covered in Kenyan birth certificates.

• The 2018 Mazda CX-3 crossover is a conspiracy of styling, engineering and practicality! (Sponsored by Mazda USA)

• Most women's nipples have a webcam used to blackmail radio show hosts into paying for their beauty school tuition.

• The inventor of Spanx is a democrat. Therefore, wearing Spanx will cause you to have an abortion.